On July 12, 1979, I married Janke Alida Holtland in Kampen, the Netherlands. I was 24. We had known each other less than a year. But we were baby boomers. Our generation got married in our 20s.
Staying married, however, became the baby boomer problem. All of my best friends married young, but then divorced. Janke and I have made it 40 years and we’re quite jubilant.
Over those 40 years, I have learned a thing or two about how to keep a marriage intact and happy. Here are four of them:
1. Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger
This principle comes in handy, because—shockingly—a spouse will inevitably do things to irritate and anger you. It is critically important to deal with those irritations right away: before the sun goes down. If you don’t, these irritations will begin to fester. If a root bitterness gets a foothold, then talking things out becomes harder and harder. Deal with your relationship issues on a daily basis.
