When her grandson was born, Lisa Marshall created a social media page to share their fun family adventures with others. But she never expected that a year later, the platform would turn into an empowering way to continue sharing the hard-to-tell story of her daughter, who died by suicide.
Together, the grandma and grandson have touched the hearts of tens of thousands through their moving videos.
Lisa, a teacher who lives in British Columbia, Canada, shared with The Epoch Times how a viral video of her grandson giving love to his late mom happened spontaneously, with the caring act coming naturally to Lochlan.
“I couldn’t believe I caught it on film,” she said. “I was just saying, ‘I want to see you ride your bike and maybe say hi to mommy.’ And so he’s saying, ‘Hi Mom! Hi, Mom!’ ... and then all of a sudden, I see him stop.”
Lochlan approached his mom’s graveside memorial and kissed it.
“For such a young age, he’s a bit of an old soul because he really feels a lot,” Lisa said.
Watch the video:
This wasn’t the first time Lochlan had shown or given his mom a token of love. Whether it’s drawing pictures or decorating and collecting rocks to put by a bench at his mom’s memorial, Lochlan frequently expresses love for his mother.
But Lochlan knows his mom is somewhere beyond the graveside and memorial in the cemetery.
“He knows she’s not there. It’s not that he thinks that that’s his mom. He just knows that that’s her resting place,” Lisa said.
Though Sara always had bouts of anxiety and depression, she seemed to open a new chapter in her life when she became pregnant in 2020.
“When she was pregnant, I’ve never seen Sara so healthy and so vibrant,” Lisa said. “[She was] the Sara I knew when she was little, and it was so lovely to see. And I thought … maybe this pregnancy is going to be really good for her. Maybe being a mom is going to really be great.
“She had just turned 19 years old when she told us on Father’s Day. She had just finished her second year of university.”
Emmet, Sara’s boyfriend, moved in with the Marshall family in December 2020 as they prepared for the arrival of the baby, so they wouldn’t have to worry about the COVID-19 pandemic.
The young mother worked hard to be well-prepared for the birth of her son.
“Sara read so many books before he was born,” Lisa said. “She knew everything about babies. She knew how she wanted to birth him, so she got a midwife. She knew what her plan was going to be like.”
Lochlan was born on March 3, 2021.
“Baby was healthy, and it was wonderful,” Lisa said.
Soon after giving birth to Lochlan, the new mom was preparing to take her final exams for the spring semester in April 2021.
“But of course, it was COVID. So everything was online that year,” Lisa said, noting that Sara’s exams were a little easier because she could do them at home.
As Sara started her third year of her university studies, however, there was a shift. Juggling life and family, in addition to her school responsibilities began to take a toll, causing a flare-up of old mental health struggles.
“On October 6th of 2021, Sara had her first suicide attempt,” Lisa said. “I don’t know where I would be today if she actually passed away that day, because, of course, I never ever knew she was struggling to that extent.”
After that, Lisa took a break from school, and they got her into counseling. She also began taking medication. With help from her concerned family, Sara would check herself into the hospital when she was scared of what was going on in her mind.
“But at the hospital, they just kept on sending her home,” Lisa said. “She would go in and tell them that she was having bad thoughts, and they’re like, ‘Oh, you’re okay. You have a supportive family at home that can help take care of you.’”
Because of her love of water and helping people, Sara worked full-time as a lifeguard before Lochlan was born. Her warning signs were hard to read for medical professionals as well as her family.
“It’s really hard when people don’t portray … like she’s always happy. She’s always smiling,” Lisa said. “She’s always cracking jokes. She’s always helping everybody else around her.”
In November 2021, Sara made a second suicide attempt.
Not sure how to help, the family continued watching over Sara and showing her lots of love. Fast forward to February 2021, Sara told her family she needed to go to the hospital.
“She said, ‘I don’t want to be here anymore. I really just don’t want to be here,’” Lisa said. “At least she was, you know, putting things in place.”
At this point, the hospital admitted her for 10 days.
“That’s when she finally got a psychiatric assessment,” Lisa said. “Because you’re on a waitlist for everything.”
The young woman was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was put on new medication.
“It was really helping her, and she was feeling really, really good,” Lisa said. “She came out of the hospital, and that was just before Lochlan’s first birthday.”
Lisa hoped things were taking a turn for the better.
On April 1, 2022, Sara told her family that she was staying at a friend’s house for the night.
Lisa, sensing that something was wrong, looked up Sara’s location on her phone, but Sara had blocked the tracking feature. However, she did send her mom a picture of herself at her friend’s house to show she was really there.
Shortly afterward, Sara posted on Instagram: “Thank you everybody for everything that you’ve done for me. I love you, everybody. I love you.”
She was not usually the one to post things like that on social media—that rang alarm bells for her mum.
Lisa called her daughter again saying that the Instagram post concerned her.
Lisa said, “She’s like, ‘Mom, don’t worry about me. Just go to bed. I'll see [you] in the morning.’”
The next morning Sara never showed up. The family started searching for her, but Lisa knew in her heart that something was wrong.
“As a mum, I just knew. … All these pieces were fitting together,” she said, adding that they were able to locate her daughter’s phone through the phone company.
Sara had drowned herself in their local river.
“The really, really hard part about all of it is that Sara is a lifeguard. Sara is an avid swimmer. Sara loves the water,” the mom said. “And to this day, the part that’s really hard for me is that I understand that her intent wasn’t to come home that night.”
Lisa believes that her daughter’s intent was still suicide, but that things did not go as planned.
“I just don’t feel that the way she passed away was her plan,” she said.
Lisa says the response to her daughter’s story has been mostly positive, but some people don’t understand what a person with mental illness goes through. Several of them remarked that her daughter was “selfish” to end her own life.
“It’s an invisible disease,” Lisa said. “You can go have counseling; you can be on medicine. Have a supportive and loving family. In those dark, dark days, those voices still [have] power over you.
“If you speak to anybody who’s been there, that’s exactly what they say. … It’s like somebody’s taking over your body, and you can’t control it.”
Lisa and the family have kept Lochlan as close to his mom as possible, showing him videos of her and putting pictures of her up around the house. As Lochlan gets older, they know there will be some difficult conversations.
“I know as he’s going to get older, the questions are going to get harder, as he asks those hard questions, we'll continue to be honest and open with him,” Lisa said.
Lisa continues to maintain her Instagram page showing her adventures with Lochlan as a way to continue her late daughter’s story. For anyone who is struggling with the suicide of a loved one, Lisa says that even though it’s really hard, they shouldn’t blame themselves. She also encourages others not to hide their grief.
“Just keep trying for change, and keep talking about mental illness—and don’t hide it,” she says.
Talking about the good and the bad memories of departed loved ones is one of the ways that we can keep them alive in our hearts.
Just like Lochlan does.
