A surprising number of our daily struggles stem from our attachments, such as overeating, or procrastination. In other words, if we take a closer look, we can see that the challenge we’re dealing with is something we’re actively enforcing. That also means it’s something we can let go of.
Overeating: There’s nothing wrong with eating, but when we eat out of the habit of comforting ourselves or don’t know when to stop, it can lead to feeling bad or declining health. The attachment to comforting ourselves with food, to tasting certain foods every day, or to finishing everything on our plate—even if we’ve already had enough—fuels overeating.
Overworking: If we’re working too much, there might be an attachment to getting as much done as possible, maybe to feel like we’re good enough. Or maybe the attachment is to showing others how good we are.
Putting things off: Procrastination can have any number of causes. Some possibilities include an attachment to perfection or getting a particular outcome that makes us feel safe or good about ourselves. Or maybe it’s an attachment to control, and we delay doing things we’re uncertain about.
Frustrations with other people: The attachment here might be to having people behave the way we want them to, or to having them be happy with us. We may be attached to expectations about how they should be.
Feeling overwhelmed: We might have an attachment to a feeling of order, simplicity, or knowing exactly what to do.
Addictions to social media: The attachment might be to a feeling of comfort, or maybe a feeling of being entertained. We may also be attached to the endless novelty of new content and the possibility of something new and surprising.
Clutter: If we have too much clutter, we might have attachments to the comforts and security of shopping and receiving packages in the mail, an attachment to possessions for emotional reasons, or it could be the attachments mentioned in “Putting things off,” above.
Social anxiety: There are lots of reasons for social anxiety, but the attachment might be to having people view us a certain way, or a feeling of comfort or safety.
Just because a difficulty arises from an attachment, that doesn’t mean it’s an easy problem to deal with. Our attachments are a part of us, and sometimes we can’t even distinguish between ourselves and the things we’re attached to.
And that raises the questions, can we let go of our attachments? And if we can, what would it be like to gently release what we’re holding on to? The answer to the first question is yes, and to the second is freedom.
When I’m facing an attachment, I try to practice a joyful letting go. Let’s take a look at how that might go in practice.
A Joyful Letting Go
The first thing is to realize that our struggle comes from an attachment. Review the list above and see if any of them apply. It can be easy to point the finger in someone else’s direction, or to feel bad about things. But what if we could simply notice where we’re feeling attached to something?Once we can see the attachment, we can practice with it and see if we can release the attachment.
It might go something like this:
- Breathe. Turn toward the present moment.
- Let yourself feel the emotion associated with the attachment. Just be with it, mindfully, and feel it as sensation in the body.
- Ask if the attachment is serving you.
- Ask what it could be like without the attachment.
- Joyfully release the attachment like releasing your grip on a balloon. Let it float away. See if you can experience a few moments without the attachment, and see what that’s like. What’s available to you when you’re free of the attachment?
Try it now. Is there something you’ve been frustrated about, avoiding, addicted to? Could you notice the attachment that you have and joyfully release it?
What would that be like for you?
This story was originally published on the ZenHabits.net Blog.
