Reeves chronicles the struggles: 1 in 3 men in America—10 million total—with only a high school diploma are now out of the workforce. Men who entered the workforce 40 years ago now earn 10 percent less in real income compared to the previous generation. Men account for 3 out of every 4 suicides or drug overdoses, and are increasingly isolated, with approximately 15 percent saying they have no friends.
And, tragically, for future generations, 1 in 5 fathers don’t live with their children.
I’m glad to see that some people are concerned about that, rather than denying there’s a problem with our boys and men. However, too often, we focus only on the symptoms while not dealing with the root problem: a society that often marginalizes, mocks, and, in some cases, penalizes men who exemplify the traits of faith, commitment, and responsibility. We have become a society that has forsaken personal sacrifice for personal “fulfillment”—which isn’t fulfilling at all.
That message of personal fulfillment over personal sacrifice, sadly, resonates with too many young men. The result is that our boys—many of whom have been told that their masculinity is “toxic”—fail to launch into adulthood and are directionless and unwilling or unable to accept personal responsibility.
While there are definite “toxic” behaviors that should never be tolerated—such as domestic violence, rampant promiscuity without personal responsibility, and any form of violent behavior—these behaviors are a manifestation of boys who have grown up without healthy male role models to guide and point them in the right direction.
Starting in the 1960s, men were told they needed to cede their traditional roles of being providers and protectors—stripping many men of personal ambition and clarity of roles. Then came societal changes that made it easier for men to no longer be responsible for their actions. Finally, society started to mock and demonize faith while deemphasizing male skill sets in our educational system. The result was a recipe that left most boys without a road map to follow for life—and in many cases, no one to even ask for directions.
And boys without guidance become men without purpose. Instead of being strong, in control, and committed to those in their lives—whether it be family or friends—these men are weak in spirit and prone to temptation, and they often enter adulthood without a clue of how to be a husband, father, and productive citizen.
The result is that they become isolated, leading to depression, unbridled pursuit of pleasure, or explosive anger. And while the results are tragic for men, they are also tragic for women—the very individuals whose lives the tectonic changes that were started in the 1960s were supposed to help.
That’s why it’s imperative that men of faith come alongside their struggling brothers and point them to their ultimate purposes in life.
That’s the solution for solving the struggles of our boys and men—returning to the original design for men and women (which values both equally) and pointing them toward a higher role model. That return will start the road of personal and cultural restoration for men, women, children, and our society. All of us—not just men—will benefit from that.
