Gen Z Learns the Power of Commitment

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Commentary

In her book ”Generations,” which takes a detailed look at the characteristics of each generation over the past 80-plus years, Jean Twenge writes, “technological change isn’t just about stuff; it’s about how we live, which influences how we think, feel, and behave.”

Perhaps no generation has grown up more linked to technology that Gen Z—those born between 1995 and 2012. Because of their reliance on technology, they engage in less personal interaction with peers and experience increased isolation. Neither is a positive thing for them or for society.

For instance, while it is not true of every Gen Z member, statistics bear out the fact they increasingly have trouble finding and committing to another person in a lifelong relationship. That is one of the main reasons that the current median age for first marriage is 30.2 for men and 28.6 for women.

But perhaps Gen Z is finally realizing that commitment to another person is important after all, at least according to a recent story by Natasha Dangoor in the Wall Street Journal. She states that Gen Z has swapped relationships with what she calls “situationships” that do not last and ultimately are unfulfilling for both parties.

Dangoor writes: “Gen Z came of age in a swipe right world, where instant access to dates blurred the lines between friendships, hookups, and full-fledged relationships. The loose nature of these situationships, romantic entanglements that exist somewhere between friendship and fidelity, was meant to limit fallout and maybe even help couples take baby steps towards commitment.”

But as is the case with many other things, this technology has created the exact opposite effect—and as Twenge notes has greatly affected the way Gen Z thinks, feels, and behaves.

This growing disillusionment has also resulted in Gen Z being the loneliest generation ever. According to a American National Family Life survey, at least 56 percent of Gen Z members say they feel lonely once or twice a month.

As Abby Medcalf, a psychologist and relationship expert quoted in the Wall Street Journal article states, the result is that their actions are driven by feelings such as loneliness, boredom, rejection, sadness, and abandonment.

Because of this loneliness, many Gen Z members engage in the exact opposite behavior that will solve their lack of personal connections with others. They flit from one “situationship” to another without ever making an emotional connection with another person—swiping right, so to speak, to the next one on their smartphone, so they experience the next “situationship” high.

But it is not just technology that has created this environment.

Many of these feelings—or fear of commitment—may be tied to what Gen Z members experienced as children as divorce became increasingly prevalent in our society. More than 52 percent of American children raised by divorced parents experience loneliness, compared to only 33 percent of children in intact two-parent homes.

Ideally, this disillusionment would lead to Gen Z members desiring to meet someone and get married. But because so many have not seen relational commitment modeled to them by preceding generations or have buried their heads in technology, they have no idea of what it means to bond with another person or even how to start doing so.

As Dangoor notes, “Dating in such a gray area has instead left many in the dark, especially when things fall apart. And [Gen Z] have just about had enough of situationships, which they say are marked by a sense of confusion and rejection that extends long after they’re supposedly over.”

Hopefully, their current disillusionment with the lack of meaningful relationships will be a beginning towards taking baby steps to committing to another person, which, in turn, might lead them back to the beauty of marriage—the ultimate answer to their current feelings of emptiness and isolation.

Before one can solve a problem, one needs to identify it first. And it seems that Gen Z has started to identify the emptiness of a life without a meaningful relationship. For that we can be grateful, and continue to hope that this growing disenchantment with superficial “situationships” will lead to a desire to bond with and commit to another person in a lifelong relationship.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times.