Why Connections Are Good for the Brain and the Soul

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Commentary

“I cannot even imagine where I would be today, were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.”

So says well-known pastor and author Chuck Swindoll.

That quote came to mind as I thought about a good friend of mine and his wife who are currently dealing with taking care of her aging parents.

Her mother and father, in their early 80s, are classic loners, with few or no social connections. They do not go to church, they do not participate in neighborhood activities, and they have no family other than their daughter, who lives 700 miles away.

They have no friends, and thus, no joy.

It’s heartbreaking for my friend and his wife to see her parents rapidly deteriorate well before others they know in their 80s and even 90s. Both of her parents, but especially her father, have significant memory issues. They also are rapidly deteriorating physically, while others their age remain active.

I thought of my friends’ parents when I came across a recent article by Marta Zaraska in The Washington Post on the importance of face-to-face communication in keeping our brains and bodies in good health.

Zaraska wrote about those who are now in their 80s, 90s, and even older than 100 who remain mentally alert and active. While she noted numerous studies showing that those who have high-quality friendships have better health and live longer lives, it is even more important that these relationships are not “long-distance” chats over Zoom but instead a regular part of our daily lives.

Virtual friendships are just not the same.

Unfortunately, with the rise of remote work, videoconferencing, and then COVID-19, many people moved behind a computer screen. Zaraska cited an American Time Use Survey that shows that time with friends decreased from 60 minutes per day in 2003 to just 34 minutes in 2019, the year before the pandemic. It has likely decreased more since.

Zaraska noted: “One study conducted during the coronavirus pandemic, and based on the analysis of blood samples from 142 adults, revealed that meeting friends in person improves the functioning of genes linked to the immune system. Such benefits, however, didn’t materialize for those who only interacted with their friends online.

“While texting our friends or sending them Snapchat photos is certainly one way to keep the relationship going, for a deep connection we need more than seeing a friend’s two-dimensional image on a screen.”

Given that evidence, it’s not a coincidence that those who are involved in a faith community, where there is regular interaction and true human compassion for one another, enjoy better mental and physical health and live longer lives.

Last year, psychoanalyst Erica Komisar wrote: “Over the years, Americans have rejected faith, leaving emptiness in its place. The loss of faith has robbed society and its citizens of a sanctuary in the storm of life. ... It’s no surprise that loneliness and aimlessness are on the rise.”

And it’s not just relationships with people our own age that help keep us young. It has been shown that intergenerational friendships are important and are invigorating as well. Both the young and the old benefit from regular interaction.

My friends do just that. They are active in their church and have significant, meaningful relationships not only with people their own age but also with young adults 30 to 35 years their junior who thoroughly enjoy the interactions with the “older generation.”

They also understand the importance of faith and its accompanying relationships, so that they don’t meet the same fate as her parents.

It is those relationships that bring them joy and keep my friends active and living lives with meaning. Friendships and faith are vital connections that are good for both the brain and the soul. Those connections also bring us together as people, rather than isolating us and tearing us apart.

Perhaps the next time we choose to sit down behind a computer screen, we will think twice and either pick up the phone or, better yet, get together physically with a friend or go to church rather than watching online. It will do us a world of good, in the present and in the future.

So in the words of Swindoll, let’s have a “lot more fun.”

Reprinted by permission from The Daily Signal, a publication of The Heritage Foundation.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times.