The Power of an Engaged Father

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Commentary

In his induction speech as he entered the Baseball Hall of Fame, Minnesota Twins star Harmon Killebrew shared the following story: “We used to play a lot of ball out in the front yard, and my mother would say, ‘You’re tearing up the grass and digging holes in the front yard?’ And my father would say, ‘We’re not raising grass here, we’re raising boys.’”

Besides his Hall of Fame baseball career, the slugger was known for his character and humility—traits that were likely instilled in him by a loving and engaged father who was more concerned about his sons than the aesthetics of his lawn.

Study after study has produced irrefutable evidence of the difference an engaged father makes in the life of a child—whether it be a son or a daughter—and, on the flip side, the negative ramifications for children who don’t have such a paternal influence in their lives.

So many of our current cultural ills can be tied to the absence of fathers. That’s why I was encouraged to read about a recent study by Wendy Wang, the director of research for the Institute for Family Studies, on how fathers are increasing their engagement with their children.

According to Ms. Wang, American fathers now spend an average of 7.8 hours per week taking care of children at home, up by 1 hour per week over the past two decades. The increase is primarily among college-educated, white, or Asian dads in two-parent homes.

The benefits for these children who are experiencing quality time with dad are boundless. For a boy, an engaged father, such as the one Harmon Killebrew had, is his first and best mentor. As another baseball figure, former baseball Commissioner Fay Vincent, shared, his father admonished him to “always be a gentleman.” Generations of other men from Killebrew and Vincent’s era heard the same message from their dads. They knew being a gentleman meant decency, excellence in their work, and valuing and preserving the family name. It was about integrity over intellect and embodying goodwill in both the highest of highs and lowest of lows in life.

Gentlemen succeed in life—professionally and personally—as they make great husbands and fathers, as well as solid contributors to society.

But as much as I was encouraged to learn that these fathers are spending more time with their children, there are still millions of children who are still suffering from the heartache of a missing dad. According to Ms. Wang, fathers without a college degree now spend less time with their children compared with such fathers 20 years ago. Fathers without a college degree are three times more likely than college-educated dads to live apart from their children.

Ms. Wang wrote, “College-educated fathers now spend almost twice the amount of time with their children as fathers without a college degree.”

The result is the rich—the college-educated father and his children—get richer, while the poor—the non-college-educated father and his children—get poorer. Meanwhile, our society is formed such that the dividing line between the haves and have-nots is determined at the very beginning of life and the precious formative years of childhood.

For boys who don’t have engaged fathers, the statistics are tragic. In the 1990s, Cynthia Harper of the University of Pennsylvania and Sara S. McLanahan of Princeton University found that young men who grow up in fatherless homes are twice as likely to end up in jail as those who come from traditional two-parent families. Girls who grow up without an engaged father often become severely depressed, self-destructive, and sexually promiscuous as they seek to fill the void left by the absence of a loving and engaged father.

My advice to those fathers who have increased their engagement with their children is to keep it up. For those fathers who have chosen to neglect their parental responsibility, I would admonish them to reexamine their priorities and commitments—regardless of their educational or economic level—and realize that the most important investment they can make isn’t in personal fulfillment, but in the lives of their children.

Let’s start “tearing up some grass,” as Killebrew’s dad might say, and spend time with our children rather than placing our focus elsewhere. Our children, like Killebrew did, will greatly benefit as a result.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times.