How to Relax When You Don’t Have the Answers

How to Relax When You Don’t Have the Answers
Thinking, we believe, will solve whatever questions and challenges life presents. insta_photos/Shutterstock
Nancy Colier
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The first time someone suggested I stop trying to think up a solu­tion to the situation I was trying desperately to solve, it sounded like a lovely idea. But truth be told, I had no idea how to put this advice into action.

Resolution, for me, had always meant understand­ing what was happening, what it meant, and most of all, knowing what to do about it. Resolution had always involved excessive and obsessive think­ing. If I didn’t want to live in anxiety and feel utterly unmoored, I had to solve the questions that were still unsolved. I had to think more, not less, about my difficulties. Living peacefully and not having the answers were incompatible; I needed a plan, a way out of the situation, not a comfy chair inside it.
Nancy Colier
Nancy Colier
Nancy Colier is a psychotherapist, interfaith minister, thought leader, public speaker, and the author of "Can't Stop Thinking: How to Let Go of Anxiety and Free Yourself from Obsessive Rumination,” “The Power of Off,” and the recently released “The Emotionally Exhausted Woman: Why You’re Depleted and How to Get What You Need” (November, 2022.)
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