He’s no monk on a mountaintop, nor does he shun the secular world, but for the past three years, Marcus Gallagher has abstained from pornography—and he’s not looking back.
Like many men, Gallagher (who chose a pseudonym for anonymity) first encountered pornography in seventh grade. What started as curiosity evolved into a gratifying escape, then an irresistible urge, and, ultimately, an impediment to his life.
As his habit grew, Gallagher found himself increasingly uneasy around others, especially women, and struggling with an endless buzzing in his mind. “Every minute, I was thinking of something sexual, like pornography,” he recalled.
That’s when he started considering practicing abstinence.
The Growing Appetite for Unreality
A study published in the Journal of Sex Research indicates that approximately 70 percent of American men and 40 percent of American women consume online pornography annually. Additionally, research from the Journal of Behavioral Addictions found that 11 percent of men and 3 percent of women agreed with the statement, “I am addicted to pornography.”
“The brain becomes more sensitive to and stimulated by the pixels, as opposed to people,” explained John D. Foubert, dean of the College of Education at Union University in Tennessee, a renowned expert in sexual assault prevention, and author of over 30 peer-reviewed articles and books on related topics.
“Pornography literally rewires the brain,” Clare Morell, a policy analyst specializing in technology and mental health, told The Epoch Times. “It creates habitual neural pathways so that the person needs to continue to access pornography due to such a high level of dopamine being released in the brain when they view this type of content.”
Porn is a “supranormal stimulus” that depicts an unrealistic and exaggerated version of sexuality, said Dr. Donald Hilton Jr., neurosurgeon and internationally recognized expert on the neuroscience of pornography. This visual hyperstimulation can hijack the normal reproductive drive, desensitizing the brain to authentic human intimacy and relationships.
Almost everything else seems bleak and unworthy of pursuing, Hilton said.
However, not all experts agree that pornography consumption is addictive. Nicole Prause, a neuroscientist researching human sexual behavior, told The Epoch Times that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) and the World Health Organization (WHO) have rejected the idea of “pornography addiction” as a clinical diagnosis.
Prause suggested that in many cases, people who think they have a porn or masturbation problem may be struggling with more common issues such as depression. She advocates addressing the underlying mental health concerns rather than framing it as an addiction issue.
Hilton challenged the notion that porn doesn’t meet addiction criteria.
Both exhibit identical behavioral patterns—spending hours pursuing their fix, damaging relationships, and being unable to stop. Yet as Hilton pointed out, “The DSM-5 classifies only the poker as an addiction.” He argues this distinction is “both behaviorally and biologically inconsistent,” given the similar patterns of compulsive behavior and negative life impact.
While the WHO doesn’t classify it as an addiction, “compulsive sexual behaviour disorder” (CSBD) was recognized by the health body in 2019 and characterized as “a persistent pattern of failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges resulting in repetitive sexual behaviour.”
Those Who Delay Gratification Win
“There is no such thing as an addiction in moderation,” Gallagher said.By acting without restraint, people risk becoming “eternally possessed” by these desires, losing self-control. Gallagher argues that self-control is a unique human capacity that should be guarded and cultivated.
In a subsequent study, the researchers had one group of porn users refrain from pornography while another group abstained from their favorite food for three weeks.
The researchers found that those who quit pornography developed stronger self-control, becoming better at postponing immediate desires to attain more significant future rewards. By contrast, those who gave up their favorite food did not show this improvement. The researchers concluded that “regular self-control in some domains (e.g., sexual) might be more powerful than self-control exercised in other domains (e.g., food).”
By consciously engaging in abstinence and limiting porn use, individuals may enhance their self-discipline, leading to improved outcomes in various aspects of life, Gallagher said. “Because I can tackle such a hard problem, doing other hard things doesn’t seem so hard anymore,” he said.
In the experiment, children were seated in a private room, and a researcher placed a marshmallow on the table in front of them. They were told that if they didn’t eat the marshmallow while the researcher left the room, they would be rewarded with another.
Draining Life Force
One of the driving forces of porn use and masturbation is the claim that it can be good for one’s health. However, the current scientific evidence supporting these claims remains largely inconclusive. In different studies, health benefits are attributed to both frequent sexual activity and abstinence—including claims about effects on testosterone levels (1, 2, 3, 4), fertility, sperm quality, mental health, and level of happiness.Traditional medicine, particularly traditional Chinese medicine (TCM), offers a more explicit stance, warning against casual and indiscriminate discharge.
“Current research promotes frequent ejaculation for prostate health and stress relief. TCM, however, emphasizes balance,” said Dr. Jingduan Yang, a fifth-generation TCM teacher and practitioner, board-certified psychiatrist, and CEO of Northern Medical Center in Middletown, New York. Yang is also a contributor to The Epoch Times.
In TCM, sexual health is seen as a balance of essence (jing) and qi, two types of energy in our bodies. Essence is the core energy for growth, reproduction, and vitality, while qi is the daily energy that drives our functions.
Essence is harder to replenish, so preserving it, especially in winter, enhances physical resilience and mental clarity, Yang told The Epoch Times.
According to TCM, the kidneys are considered the storehouse of this essence, and every ejaculation depletes it. This is because ejaculation requires physical exertion, the discharge of nutrients, and vital fluids used to create sperm.
“Ejaculation triggers complex nervous system activities: The parasympathetic (rest and digest) system promotes relaxation, while the sympathetic (flight or fight) nervous system takes over during ejaculation, leading to intense physical exertion and energy output. TCM views this exertion as drawing on kidney energy, which, if depleted too frequently, can lead to imbalances or lower energy reserves over time,” Yang said.
“Modern medicine tries to rationalize [ejaculation] as natural and without harm, but from an energetic level, there are serious short-term and long-term effects,” Jonathan Liu, a TCM practitioner, told The Epoch Times. “From my clinical practice, kidney essence deficiency is indeed related to some conditions like poor memory, fatigue, even some dementia cases.”
Ryan B. (a pseudonym) is among the many men who report decreased energy after ejaculation. “I always feel tired afterward—like I’m just out of energy,” he told The Epoch Times.
Liu suggests conserving the body’s vital energy to maintain health. “Sexual behavior is not just for pleasure; its proper role is for procreation,” he said.
Yang said, “Restraint isn’t about deprivation but cultivation.” He suggests this cultivation tempers self-discipline and can heighten spiritual awareness and productivity. “However, balance and individual health needs are key.”
The Way Out: Purpose Over Pleasure
Every year, Gallagher would try to abstain from masturbation for an entire month. “Every single time I tried, I failed,” he said. Nonetheless, he persisted.Gallagher, now a 26-year-old software engineer, eventually began reaping the benefits. “Now, I’m looking back, and I have so much more mental clarity,” he said. What came along was increased confidence and empowerment.
“We seem to be in the midst of a masculinity crisis ... and this is changing how men feel like they fit in the world,” said Justin Lehmiller, a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and host of the Sex & Psychology podcast. The trend of abstinence is “part of a much bigger movement that’s about restoring masculinity,” he told The Epoch Times.
“A man who lacks purpose distracts himself with pleasure,” Gallagher said, further commenting that many people are engrossed in the modern hedonistic culture of instant gratification, drinking, smoking, and drug use.
Yet he believes there is hope. “It is inevitable that once someone reaches the end of this path and realizes its hollowness, they will naturally start looking in the other direction, toward something more virtuous and fulfilling,“ he said. ”When the pendulum reaches one extreme, it will inevitably start to go the other way.”
For those considering a similar path, Gallagher proposed practical steps for quitting. For immediate urge management, he mentioned that some of his friends found success with physical activities such as doing push-ups when temptation strikes. He recommended journaling as a tool to reinforce reasons for stopping and to reflect on past decisions.
He emphasized the importance of understanding the addictive nature of porn use and masturbation, encouraging reframing one’s perspective by questioning the fundamental purpose and impact of the behavior on one’s life and relationships.
Above all, he believes that purpose through spirituality is the best way out.
“Stopping an addiction like this is really hard, near impossible, without the help of God,” Gallagher said.
For some people, abstinence can be a game changer, Foubert said. “See what [abstinence] does to your loneliness, to your depression, to your anxiety, to your intimate relations with other people and see if that’s something you like and it may be something that you want to continue beyond,” he said.
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