You know what I like about Taiwan? Well, it’s like the parallel dimension China that has democracy and didn’t destroy their traditional culture. And they have anthropomorphized food mascots that serve you smaller versions of themselves.
Adorable and creepy at the same time. The mascot, I mean. Oh, and Taiwan’s government officials know how to play it cool.
Not overly panic? What’s there to not-overly panic about?
Ah, Chinese warships sailing close to Taiwan. That...might be cause for panic. Especially since the Chinese military reportedly has 1,600 missiles pointed at Taiwan at all times. Anyway, on Wednesday, the Chinese military sailed its only aircraft carrier, the Liaoning, through Taiwan’s Air Defense Zone. If only it had been a Sea Defense Zone as well. Even though the Liaoning did not enter Taiwan’s actual territorial waters, it was enough for the Taiwan military to scramble F-16 fighter jets and other aircraft, in a move that absolutely was not panicking. That makes the third time in just three days China has caused another country to “not panic.”
Earlier this week, China sent eight warplanes over the waters between Japan and South Korea. And over the weekend, China sent a nuclear-capable bomber plane over disputed waters in the South China Sea, where some say World War III could start.
But hey, why is everyone getting so upset? I mean, according to the Chinese Foreign Ministry, this is totally normal.
And he has a point. Sending warships close to a country/region you’ve repeatedly said you plan to conquer is totally normal. Which is why they tried it once before in 2013. And it was totally normal back then too.
It’s so incredibly reassuring when you keep emphasizing how normal something is. Like when I used to wake up to find my roommate Carl standing over me with a knife. Sure it was scary at first. But then Carl explained how it was a totally normal part of his sleepwalking. Made me feel so much better.
Anyway, the Liaoning was normally passing through the Taiwan strait on its way back from training drills that it had started in the region on December 24, Christmas Eve. Of course it didn’t have to sail through Taiwan’s Air Defense Zone. So was China trying to send a message to Taiwan? Well, they may have actually been sending it to the Donald Trump administration. Frankly, I would suggest maybe using diplomatic channels next time. Like having state-run media send him a tweet.
At the end of last year, Trump enraged the Chinese regime by calling into question the One China Policy. That’s where everyone agrees there’s one China, without having to specify whether it’s the Communist Party-run China in the mainland, or the democratically-run one in Taiwan. Chinese state-run media even vowed revenge.
And earlier this week, Taiwanese president Tsai Ing-wen visited the US and met with Texas Senator Ted Cruz and Texas Governor Greg Abbott. Presumably, they talked about all the things Taiwan and Texas have in common. Like a deep-seated love of barbeque and fried food on sticks. (Is there anything we can use from the Taiwan night market here?) And also how they both want to split off and be their own countries.
All this is making the the Chinese regime pretty angry, since the US isn’t supposed to have official diplomatic relations with Taiwan. Because Taiwan is part of China. Even though America has vowed to protect to this part of China from the... other part of China.
Well, the new year is off to a good start. Happy year of the rooster, everyone!
