From the archives: This story was last updated in March 2019.
One mom had to calm herself down with some deep breathing after her son was caught up in a fit of rage and caused a destructive shattering of a heavy mirror. Feeling scared and frustrated, the single mom calmed herself down and turned to her compassionate and loving side. She knew what her son needed most at that time.Kathleen Fleming retells the story of how her son’s rage smashed the hallway mirror into countless glass shards. She expressed that she felt both afraid and disappointed.
“It took my breath away when my son stormed into the bathroom, frustrated, angry, fed-up for his very own, very significant to him, reasons.
“And when he chose to SLAM the bathroom door, causing the heavy mirror mounted to the front to slip out of the hardware holding it in place and crash onto the floor—a million, BROKEN pieces were left reflecting the afternoon light.”
Before doing anything else, Fleming took precautions to make sure her cat and dog wouldn’t tread on the glass shards. Then she decided to get a little fresh air to give herself a moment to calm down and ponder the whole situation.
“I walked into the backyard and felt the hot tears streaming down my face. It’s amazing how alone you can feel as a single parent in moments like these. I realized how scared and disappointed I felt. Did this really just happen? Yes, this was real.
“And as I stood and considered whether or not this was an indication of his developing character, I heard his tears through the window above me, coming from inside the bathroom.”
It was then Fleming realized that the mirror’s destruction brought about just as many emotions in her son as it did in her.
“Terrified.
“Ashamed.
“Worried.
“Scared.
“Deep breath. That small, fragile soul needs you right now. He needs your very best. Your biggest compassion. Your most gentle and firm mama love and reassurance. More deep breaths. Go mama.”
She entered through the front door carefully to avoid the many glass shards and approached the bathroom. Seeing her, her tearful son said remorsefully: “Mama, I’ll never do it again, I am SO sorry.”
Fleming picked her boy up, sat him on her lap, and watched as he curled up into a ball. Both mom and son cried together, knowing that what they both needed most was love.
“I love you.
You are safe.
I am right here.
The worst part is over now.
I’ve got you.
I’m here.
I love you.”
The mom then explained to her boy what anger was and taught him how to manage his emotions. Whilst we aren’t aware of how old the boy was, according to over 4,000 readers who reacted to the comment below, the age is a non-issue.
And after one of life’s many lessons, both mom and son cleaned the hallway up together. She swept and vacuumed alongside her son, quietly and peacefully.
“Sometimes things break. Sometimes we break them. It’s not the breaking that matters, the how or why. What matters is how we choose to respond to the broken-ness. Does it kill us? Does it throw us into a downward spiral of blame and punishment?”
“OR
“Does it help us remember how to love deepest? Does it push us towards compassion and over the hurdle of ‘rightness’ and ‘wrongness’ into LOVENESS?
“Yes. LOVENESS.”
Fleming’s post drew a lot of support for her wonderful approach to parenting.
