It’s never too early for parents to foster mental resilience in their children. Yet there are so many common, easily avoidable parenting mistakes that can jeopardize the process.
Kids with well-developed mental resilience stand a greater chance of feeling empowered to follow their dreams, and take failure on the chin, as they enter adulthood. So what are some of the ways parents can nurture, rather than hinder, their kids’ mental development?
1. Invalidating a child’s feelings
Children tend to express their emotions openly, by default. A parent who resorts to phrases such as “Don’t cry,” or “It’s not worth getting upset over,” is invalidating their child’s experience of the world. The child will learn to suppress emotions.
2. Sheltering them from failure
Parents know that failing is hard, and understandably want to protect their kids from this experience. But a child who learns how to fail will develop the resilience to try again, and try harder.
3. Spoiling your child
Spoiling a child reinforces the ego-driven need for instant gratification. “You want your kids to grow up knowing that it’s possible to achieve what they want, if they work for it,” says Hutchinson.
4. Setting the bar too high
A child who is always expected to be the best runs the risk of developing self-esteem issues.
5. Never pushing a child out of their comfort zone
Much like sheltering them from failure, many parents have a tendency to want to keep their children comfortable. But making new friends, trying new foods, moving home, or attending a new school could add a whole new dimension to a child’s life.
6. Not enforcing boundaries
As temping as it may be to be a playmate for your child as opposed to a rule enforcer, the latter is sometimes necessary if a child is to feel safe and cared for, and respect proper conduct.
7. Abandoning self-care
If you cannot care for yourself, how can you care for somebody else? Not only is a parent better equipped to care for their child when they themselves are happy and healthy, but they are able to model good self-care habits for their children.
According to family physician Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, there are certain parenting practices that can actively encourage kids to be mentally resilient. Among Chatterjee’s best tips are having plenty of parent-child quality time, plenty of outdoor play time, and modeling gratitude for your child.