Many men are under the impression that putting thought into their appearance isn’t manly. But basic thoughtfulness about what you put on is actually quite masculine. It helps you fulfill your role as a man in society through its effect on your projection of maturity, leadership, and the ability to provide. Sure, it’s easier to throw on a faded T-shirt and some jeans than a button-down and a blazer. Yet the latter usually garners more positive results in how others perceive you, and how you perceive yourself. It better reflects your responsibilities and opportunities as a man.
Maturity
We live in a culture that relentlessly pushes men to behave like perpetual adolescents. Culture tells young men:
“Don’t take on responsibility, let someone else do it.”
“Don’t try to advance in your career or be a strong leader because that’s toxic masculinity.”
“Don’t sacrifice yourself for a greater cause, just focus on yourself and your own needs.”
“Have a good time and enjoy yourself—there’s plenty of time for building a family and career later.”
“Nothing is really worth getting out of your comfort zone for.”
All of these statements embody the mentality of a child because the fundamental difference between an adult and a child is that, in assuming responsibility, an adult contributes to society, while a child, because of their complete dependence, only takes from society. Men who are encouraged to keep taking from society, family, their girlfriends or wives, and the like, rather than giving and building up, are therefore behaving like children.
Leadership
Traditionally, men are leaders, at least within their own families, if not more broadly in society. A leader is someone whom others respect and trust. He has the self-confidence to make decisions and act on them (in the best interest of those under his authority). Dressing well can help in both these areas because it enhances our own and others’ perception of us. Research demonstrates that when we encounter someone, we will assume based on one good trait, such as attractive dress and appearance, that the individual has other good traits as well, such as intelligence or reliability. This phenomenon is known as the “halo effect,” and it can be a powerful tool for persuading others and gaining their trust.Providing
Throughout history, men have had the responsibility and privilege of providing for others. Today, this generally means earning a salary and using that to purchase food and other necessities for the family. Good style and grooming may help you perform that duty more effectively. All of the points about first impressions and the effect of our appearance on what others think of us apply equally here.Generosity and Gentlemanliness
Perhaps the most important and persuasive reason to dress well as a man has nothing to do with the practical benefits. In the end, dressing well is a matter of respect: respect for your own dignity as a human being, and respect for the dignity and importance of the people around you. “Don’t be afraid to look a little more dressed up than the people around you,” Mr. Centeno writes. “That’s your way of showing them respect.”Similarly, Mr. Peterson relates that his father, a teacher, always wore a suit to class as a sign of respect to his students. Dressing up shows that you care enough about your interaction with others to put in some effort. It signals that you take others seriously, that you won’t waste their time, and that you want to look nice for them. It’s simply good, gentlemanly manners, that correspond to the importance of human beings and human interactions.
“How you dress contributes to the ambiance, to the weight of an event—to how significant the occasion feels,” Mr. McKay writes. And this can be a gift to everyone involved. Important situations should be set apart, characterized by a more dignified ambiance, which is partly created by our appearance. As Mr. McKay argues, we don’t want our lives to run “together into an indistinct blur” by dressing the same in all situations, which “contributes to the horror” of mundanity and stultifying routine.
When we eat an important meal together—say Christmas or Easter dinner—and we use the sterling silver forks, the ivory porcelain, and the finest china we own; when we light the candles, put out the tablecloth, and serve turkey and potatoes with wisps of steam dancing in the air; when we put on beautiful music to set the mood; and when we wear our very best and wash our faces and smile so that we can bring pleasure to those who look at us—then, we are designating time together as a mutual gift, worth some effort, worth making distinct, almost sacred, set apart from the ordinary, because it means something important.
In the end, we must remember that we’re not animals. We are rational beings, capable of and called to virtuous and civilized behavior, and our appearance ought to reflect that.