PG-13 | 1h 36m | Comedy, Satire, Revisionist History | 2024
Having amassed a personal net worth exceeding $1 billion, mostly from a sitcom “about nothing,” it’s easy to understand why making a movie about the invention of a breakfast pastry appealed to Jerry Seinfeld.
Mr. Seinfeld cowrote, co-produced, starred in, and (for the first time) directed the ambitious but highly uneven satirical comedy “Unfrosted.” In recent interviews, Mr. Seinfeld has stated that next to nothing in the movie actually happened, save for the main plot. In 1963, Battle Creek, Michigan-based rival cereal companies Kellogg’s and Post race to rush their versions of new kid-friendly toaster pastries to the market. The rest, according to Mr. Seinfeld, is “complete lunacy.”
Period Setup: Check
The opening visual is a perfect example. Items associated with the early 1960s—a dog-eared comic book, baseball cards, a whoopee cushion, Bazooka gum, a Super Ball, a G.I. Joe doll, and a Slinky—are quickly tossed into a pile. The time frame is firmly and quickly established, but just how many non-AARP aged people will understand their significance?Another early scene features Kellogg’s executive Bob Cabana (Mr. Seinfeld) attempting to soothe the fragile ego of Thurl Ravenscroft (Hugh Grant), a snooty and self-absorbed British “thespian” and bass singer, who provided the voice for Frosted Flakes mascot Tony the Tiger. Mr. Grant acts it to pieces and it’s very funny.
In the last act, Ravenscroft leads other industry mascots in a riotous protest at the Kellogg’s headquarters, which is overlong, poorly choreographed, bad slapstick, and not humorous in the least.
Gaffigan and McCarthy Shine
Doing most of the heavy lifting for the duration are Jim Gaffigan as Edsel Kellogg III and Melissa McCarthy as a former Kellogg’s employee, Donna “Stan” Stankowski, now working for NASA, who Cabana hires back to assist with product development. Kellogg, Stan, and Cabana are all fictional characters.
Kellogg is worried that if he doesn’t beat Post to the breakfast pastry punch, he’ll let down his founding ancestors. Eager to prove her worth (and to avenge her previous dismissal), Stan takes a “take no prisoners” approach and is frequently perturbed when those she doesn’t know assume she’s a guy. To clarify this point, Stan isn’t pretending to be a man: She’s just not very outwardly feminine. Stan’s multiple back-and-forths with Kellogg, Cabana, and others are priceless.
Burr as JFK?
Comedian Bill Burr shows up in two scenes as then-President John F. Kennedy. Bearing absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to JFK, Mr. Burr nonetheless sounds exactly like him as both hail from Massachusetts. Mr. Burr totally nails the cadence, accent, and flippant attitude.I’m quite familiar with all of Mr. Burr’s stand-up specials and, although he is not credited, it’s a safe bet that he wrote or improvised at least some of his dialogue. One scene with JFK also spoofs the Cuban Missile Crisis by substituting sugar for nuclear weapons.
Had this movie been made by any other first-time director, it would have been heralded as an absolute triumph, but it wasn’t. It was done by Jerry Seinfeld, a certified master of irreverent yet clean observational humor, who has been honing his craft for the better part of a half-century.
Dedicated fans of “Seinfeld” also know that his character in the show was obsessed with cereal, and the jokes he’s made about his love of Pop-Tarts indicate he had a lot of banked material going into the production.
“Unfrosted” isn’t a bad movie, as such. As stated earlier, parts of it are exceptional, but given all of the talent and intellectual ingredients involved, it should have been much better.
