In the rollicking saga of cricket test matches, Australia romped to a triumphant 3-0 series drubbing of Pakistan, clinching victory by a handsome eight wickets post-lunch on the fourth day at the Sydney Cricket Ground.
There, amidst the echo of bails tumbling, Marnus Labuschagne, whisked the winning runs through the off-side with the panache of a rogue escaping the constabulary, ending on a dashing 62 off 73 balls, boundaries spilling from his bat as freely as ale from a publican’s tap.
This whirlwind of cricketing bravado is just the tip of the iceberg.
1. The Case of the Missing Baggy Green
Let’s start with the curious incident of David Warner’s AWOL baggy green.The day before Warner’s grand curtain call, his iconic headgear played a vanishing act worthy of a Houdini stunt.
One can’t help but recall what the value might be after Shane Warne’s charitable escapade in 2020, auctioning off his own cap for more than $1 million.
Given the current economic circus, Warner’s cap might as well have been stitched with banknotes.
Miraculously, it reappeared just in time for Warner to swat a half-century in his swan song innings, yet the caper of the missing cap remains unsolved, shrouded in as much mystery as the underbelly of the Emerald City itself.
2. Who Will Open the Next Test?
It’s the question on everyone’s lips.Now Warner has retired from the long game, who will open the batting with Usman Khawaja?
What started out as a four-man race between Cameron Bancroft, Matthew Renshaw, Marcus Harris, and Cameron Green has escalated to a five-way joust when Steve Smith, in an unexpected move, chucked his baggy green hat into this already overpopulated ring.
However, word on the green is that Harris is perched in the proverbial box seat to succeed David Warner against the West Indies.
Hailing from Victoria, Harris has a Cricket Australia contract and went to England as the backup batsman. And having recently notched a desperately needed century in a warm-up skirmish with Pakistan in Melbourne, Harris might just have clinched the enviable role, much like finding a winning lottery ticket in one’s old coat pocket.
3. Tickled Pink or Seeing Red? The Great Cricket Ball Debate Continues
Usman Khawaja, in a bold declaration, has sworn to hang up his cricketing spurs should the audacious pink ball ever usurp the red in the hallowed Test cricket.This colourful conundrum, pitting the blush-tinted orb against its traditional crimson counterpart, flared anew on Thursday.
The drama unfolded when the third Test between Australia and Pakistan at the SCG plunged into a theatrical pause due to the sullen skies, halting play before the clock struck half past two.
Amidst this twilight tangle, a chorus of cricketing luminaries, including England’s former captain Michael Vaughan, have championed the pink sphere’s permanent ascent to the crease, aiming to outwit these irksome interruptions by bad light.
Their rallying cry advocates for a dawn of the pink to banish the “frustrating” gloom that so often halts play.
4. The Mexican Wave Waits for No-one
The SCG membership queue is longer than the list of a politician’s sins, with aspirants cooling their heels for a staggering 14 years to ascend the ranks for a spot in the sanctified stands for the Pink Test.There’s a cheeky shortcut, of course, a princely $20,000 or something like that to jump the queue and an annual tithe of around $2,000, but that’s as sporting as fox hunting on a moped!
Why would one endure this medieval torture to become a member, only to be booed like a flatulent uncle at Christmas dinner for merely joining in the Mexican wave?
Ah, but here’s the rub: the wave, which once stopped dead at the Members’ stand, now finds these once-stuffy patrons, perhaps touched by the folly of youth, joining in.
5. Future Cricket Legends Are Being Forged at Hawkesbury
In the cricketing crucible of Hawkesbury, future cricketing legends are being forged with the zeal of an alchemist.Take Steve O’Keefe, who’s returned to his ancestral cricketing home at Bensons Lane, where the ovals, now flush with nearly $400,000 in refurbishments, have become the stomping ground for budding willow-wielders and ball spinners.
Enter stage right: Aamir Jamal, a Hawkesbury alumnus of the 2016-17 season, who has sprouted wings and soared into the Pakistani cricket team, much like a phoenix from the ashes of suburban cricket (and from driving a taxi).
In the opening act of the third test, he scored a majestic 88 off a mere 103 balls against what’s touted as the cricketing world’s crème de la crème of bowling attacks, not to mention snagging a six-wicket haul that would make a seasoned pro green with envy.
His wicket tally for the series? A staggering 18!
But this wasn’t Jamal’s first rodeo with Pat Cummins. Cast your minds back to the epic 2016-17 season when Hawkesbury clashed swords with Penrith in the NSW Premier Cricket’s one-day final’s dramatic showdown.
6. Warner Becomes the Fairy Godmother at the Ball
In a twist fit for a fable, young Brody Quin, a 12-year-old wicketkeeper-batsman from Mount Ousley and a stalwart of Helensburgh’s under-12s, found himself the lucky recipient of Warner’s gloves and helmet as the latter took his final bow on the field.Gloves, while occasionally tossed to fans in a serendipitous stroke of luck, are somewhat common, but a helmet adorned with the Australian crest? Now, that’s a treasure rarer than a sober confession at a university reunion.
Unsurprisingly, young Brody beat a hasty retreat with his newfound treasures, now destined to be guarded more zealously than the Crown Jewels, as per his father’s decree.
The next test will see Australia play the West Indies at the Adelaide Oval on Jan. 17.
