Social Media Is Good, but Hugs and Face-to-Face Contact Is Better for Former High School Classmates

Many regard use of connection apps as a 'double-edged sword' for reunions

High School seniors make their way to the football field as the sun begins to set for their graduation ceremony in Saltillo, Miss., on June 27, 2020. Thomas Wells/The Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal via AP, File

FALLON, Nev.—Joann McGruder of Idaho is mostly old-school when comparing a popular social media platform like FaceTime with an old-fashioned, face-to-face “Hey, I remember you!”

Though the times and digital technology keep changing, bringing new ways for people to interact virtually or online, Ms. McGruder says there’s nothing like a warm smile and a big hug from someone you haven’t seen in years.

For that, Ms. McGruder, 78—a member of the small and getting smaller Class of 1963 at Churchill County High School—packed her bags, got in her car, and then drove nearly 500 miles to Fallon, Nev., for the annual county-wide community reunion on Aug. 19.

“I haven’t been here in seven or eight years,” Ms. McGruder said of her former hometown, watching the guests arriving at Fallon’s picturesque Oats Park—familiar faces from her past.

Former classmates of the Class of 1975 at Churchill County High School in Fallon, Nev., embrace at a multi-year reunion on Aug. 19, 2023. Allan Stein/The Epoch Times

“There’s a lot of people I haven’t seen. There’s a lot of old people here. And I think I know some of them.”

Classmates Patty Lewis, youthful-looking in a short-sleeve shirt and denim, and Kathy Weishaupt, friendly and cheerful, would be among her peers.

And there would be others—about 60 classmates—down around 42 from an original graduating class of 108, the inevitable result of life and time passing.

Ms. McGruder thanked social media for helping organizers bring her classmates together in the spirit of friendship.

The graduates held their 60th reunion dinner as a class the night before.

“I’ve kept in touch with several of my high school friends that I wouldn’t have [without social media],” Ms. McGruder said. “So it’s good.”

Damaging Effects

“Do I think it’s damaging? Yes, sir. It’s very damaging,” she said of social media in general. “It’s damaging to the young kids. They’re going to stick their noses in this [cell phone], they’re going to get lost in games.”

Some graduates may even decide not to attend large gatherings like the annual Fallon/Churchill County reunion, and stay in touch with their classmates on social media.

Only a few of the 106 graduating members of the Class of 2013 at Churchill County High attended Aug. 19’s community-wide event.

“Like six people showed up—yeah, really sad,” said Kelsey Harriman, Class of 2012, helping her friend Darcy Tedford set up the Class of 2013 tent.

Two former classmates of Churchill County High School greet during the annual community-wide class reunion in Fallon, Nev., on Aug. 19, 2023. Allan Stein/The Epoch Times

As Ms. Harriman sees it, people are busy with their lives and careers, and social media helps them stay in the loop.

The problem is that while the younger graduates may “think they’re connected” on social media, “they’re not.”

Missing from the equation is that intimate connection—what singer-songwriter Bruce Springsteen called “that human touch.” People still want to laugh, shake hands, embrace, and reminisce in person.

“I think as we age, we'll want to connect more in person and not from a social media aspect,” Ms. Harriman told The Epoch Times.

“Social media is convenient for now, but I don’t think maintaining relationships is realistic.”

Yet, despite the inroads of social media and temporary setbacks like COVID-19—which canceled many alumni gatherings in 2020—the annual tradition of the high school reunion continues on.

Classmates from the 1950s reminisce at the 9th annual Fallon/Churchill County Reunion in Fallon, Nev., on Aug. 19, 2023. Allan Stein/The Epoch Times

“I think there are always those that say, ‘I want to hug my classmates again. I don’t want to do this virtually or online. I want to dance with them again. I want to reminisce with them—drink with them, face to face again,” said Dr. Markus Pfeiffer, a communications professor and social media researcher at Regent University in Virginia.

He said social media allows classmates to stay connected in cyberspace, transcending time, distance, hotels, and other travel costs. Social media has also been beneficial in finding classmates in certain classes, Dr. Pfeiffer told The Epoch Times.

“It’s becoming a search tool—not just Google. Social media is becoming a search tool for long-lost classmates and integrating them again and inviting them,” he said.

“They are connected on Facebook, Linked In, and Instagram. They see each other daily or weekly [virtually or online], what their classmates do if they want to stay in touch with them.”

‘Double-Edge Sword’

However, social media can be a double-edge sword, Dr. Pfeiffer said.

While social media can bring people together in virtual reality, it can give them a reason not to attend social events like high school reunions.

“People’s interests change. People’s relationships change. Friends they had in high school may have faded away, and there’s less desire to see these people,” Dr. Pfeiffer said.

“As the years go on, there is a little bit of a fading of that interest. But the people who value these relationships will continue.

“I don’t think the high school reunion is dead, but it is certainly changing in terms of the influence of social media. It is certainly a tool that helps in that decline.”

Attending reunions can also pose emotional, financial, and logistical challenges.

Fred Miller, 63, of Fallon, Nev., kneels in front of the Class of '78 tent during the 9th annual Fallon/Churchill Community Reunion on Aug. 19, 2023. Allan Stein/The Epoch Times

And there are many reasons for staying away, ranging from physical appearance as we age to encountering former classmates who may have mistreated us in high school to not measuring up to our dreams and expectations.

“On the other hand, high school reunions can be eye-opening. We usually develop maturity and wisdom as we age,” according to Psychology Today.

“Encountering our former classmates and recalling old memories, good and bad, may help us gain better insight into who we are now and how we got here.”

Fred Miller, Class of 1978 at Churchill County High, laughs at how his classmates voted him most likely not to reach 50—“and I'll be 63 on Tuesday.”

“Every day’s a blessing,” Mr. Miller said, born and raised in Fallon, conversing with former classmates under the small “Class of 78” tarp at Oats Park.

Life Choices

What becomes of us after high school is primarily a matter of our choices. So Fred Miller became a tungsten carbide worker at a local factory and remained there for the next 39 years until he retired at age 59.

He makes it a point to stay in touch with former classmates on social media. At the same time, he enjoys meeting former classmates in person and catching up on old times.

“We all connect on social media. But then, we like to meet here and see everybody. That’s the thing with us,” Mr. Miller told The Epoch Times.

This year, the Class of ‘78 celebrated with a 45-year reunion in person. The annual county-wide reunion allows people to meet and interact across generations.

“I like that they do it for all the classes here,” Mr. Miller said. “You get to see people you don’t see [otherwise.] My dad was Class of ‘60.’ They meet elsewhere because most like to be in bed by 6 p.m.”

A member of the Class of 1983 at Churchill County High School puts up a banner during the annual community reunion in Fallon, Nev., on Aug. 19, 2023. Allan Stein/The Epoch Times

Mr. Miller is also proud that he wasn’t one of those classmates who “peaked” in high school.

“I peaked well after high school. I was still in my 20s when I started getting good at cross-country running. I was all of 140 pounds too. That’s not the case anymore.”

Like sea turtles returning to the place where they were born, many high school graduates at the Fallon/Churchill County reunion needed to meet and commune once again in person—perhaps for the last time.

On the whole, a high school class of 330 seniors loses three people by their 10-year reunion, according to Fox Business.

The number increases to seven by the 20-year reunion, 15 by the 30-year reunion, and 70 by the 50-year milestone reunion.

Class of 1973 alumni Kathie Hull (R) and Don Ellis (2nd R) enjoy personal time with former classmates at a community-wide reunion in Fallon, Nev., on Aug. 19, 2023. Allan Stein/The Epoch Times

Long before there was a community-wide reunion, the graduates of Churchill County High, built in 1917, held separate class gatherings once every five or 10 years.

The community later decided to have an even more significant, unified event, representing many classes in one location, where the public could visit and learn about the long and rich history of Churchill County High—home of the Greenwave.

Notable alumni include Harvey Dahl, the St. Louis Rams football offensive guard, and Alan Bible, a prominent lawyer and U.S. Senator from Nevada from 1954 to 1974.

The Churchill Reunion Committee was the driving force behind the effort, organizing the first community-wide reunion in 2014. The event has since blossomed to include live musical performances, car shows, and a breakfast for all participating classes.

The committee ran the event for several years, and later, the city of Fallon took on the responsibility.

Value of Social Media

Theresa Guillen, Class of 1984 and chairman of the Churchill Arts Council, said social media is crucial in ensuring yearly reunions.

“I think it’s a great connector. I stay in better touch with my classmates,” Mrs. Guillen told The Epoch Times. “Being a small community, you know the parents, the grandparents, the class ahead of you, or the class behind you.”

“Sadly, beyond 1983 and the lower classes, we don’t have as much attendance,” Mrs. Guillen said.

But as former classmates get older, “you appreciate those relationships and want to get together as you start losing classmates. Then, we make that effort.”

Mrs. Guillen also views social media as a tool for planning and finding classmates dispersed far and wide.

“There’s a great community-wide spirit here. Quite a few people live local, but quite a few make the trip from out of town,” she said. “Honestly, it helps overall. I would hate to say it took the place of coming out [in person], seeing each other in person.”

In 2020, the city called off the county-wide reunion due to COVID-19, but “people were just ready to get out” the following year, Mrs. Guillen said.

“I do believe there were some people here in masks. But people, for the most part, were ready to get rid of all that and move on—get back to living.”

Former classmates Joann McGruder (L), Patty Lewis, and Kathy Weishaupt reunite as members of the Class of 1963 at Churchill County High School during a community reunion on Aug. 19, 2023. Allan Stein/The Epoch Times

According to GroupTravel.com, the most popular month to hold class reunions is July at 23 percent, August at 21 percent, and June and October at 12 percent.

“Summer, as expected, had the highest number of class reunions. The weather is nicer, it’s easier to travel, and outdoor activities can be planned,” the company said on its website.

“Planning a reunion in the summer is also practical for classmates with families that can only vacation during this time.”

The company noted that more than 60 percent of former classmates reside in their home state, which helps to locate people when planning class reunions.

At the Fallon/Churchill County reunion on Aug. 19, former classmates hailed near and far and up and down the years—from the 1950s to the Class of 2013.

Each class had a tent set up and tables filled with yearbooks and other memorabilia capturing the year’s fleeting spirit.

“It was not hard for me to get here,” said Darcy Tedford, Class of 2013, who flew in from Texas and works in education.

Hugs Are Better

Even at her tender age, Ms. Tedford sees positive value in the physical high school reunion—meeting and sharing with her former classmates in person as opposed to virtual reality.

“I don’t think [reunions will fade away] in a community like ours,” she told The Epoch Times. “People will always want to stay in touch. It will take more effort to get younger groups [to attend].”

For the Class of 1973 at Churchill County High, the Aug. 19 county-wide reunion was a time to reel in the years, stow away the time, and gather up the tears reminiscing about younger days.

Alumna Kathie Hull said her former classmates recently held their 50th reunion, using social media to connect and organize.

“We use social media to connect and get together from other areas so we can plan. We use it as a planning tool to show pictures of our events,” Mrs. Hull said.

“The city supports it. It connects our community.”

Preferring face-to-face gatherings “100 percent,” former classmate Don Ellis said he feels that social media has “kind of taken away” from the joy of meeting in person and dislikes how it affects younger generations.

“Kids growing up aren’t going to have the social skills anywhere close. I have a problem with texting—call me on the phone! I want to talk with someone,” Mr. Ellis said, laughing.

A former classmate signs in for the 9th annual Fallon/Churchill County Reunion on Aug. 19, 2023. Allan Stein/The Epoch Times

Joan Johnson, a member of Churchill County High’s Class of 1957, believes there’s no substitute for smiles, hugs, kisses, and handshakes at physical reunions.

“We did class reunions every 10 years. Then, after the 30th, we started doing them every five years.

“It’s just important,” Mrs. Johnson told The Epoch Times, stopping to greet an old friend from high school.

“Hi, Rick. How are you? You’ve only had one beer? That’s what your [T-shirt] sign says.”

Joann McGruder, Class of 1963, drove from southern Idaho to the reunion in Fallon to be with her former classmates while she still could.

Also, the airfare would have cost so much more.

“I was reluctant to drive by myself. But I’m glad I did,” Ms. McGruder said.

She was pleased that the Class of ‘63 was chosen to be this year’s honorary class, “but if I had my ’druthers, I‘d have been the Class of ’61.

Remember Back When?

“I had a lot of respect for that class. There was some leadership in that class, which was amazing. We had older people to look up to.”

After graduation, Ms. McGruder got a job at a local Chevy dealership. Then she went away to college, returned to Fallon, and taught high school for three years.

In 1975, she moved away to Idaho and has been living there ever since.

Still, it was good to see her childhood friends and former classmates Patty Lewis and Kathy Weishaupt and remember how things used to be.

Remember Eddie? Ms. McGruder asked.

Darcy Tedford (L), of Fort Worth, Texas, and Kelsey Harriman of Reno, Nev., help set up the Class of 2023 tent during the annual county reunion in Fallon, Nev., on Aug. 19, 2023. Ms. Tedford is a graduate of the Class of 2013, Ms. Harriman graduated in 2012. Allan Stein/The Epoch Times

“He was such a good-looking kid, wasn’t he?” Mrs. Lewis said. “He had a way with the women.”

Mrs. Lewis, like Ms. McGruder, views the broad impact of social media as “good and bad.”

The bad part is that it “cuts you off” from the joy of personal encounters.

“Sometimes, you think because you’ve seen them on social media, you don’t need to visit them,” she added.

“Never saw [social media] coming, did we?” Ms. McGruder said. “We didn’t even have electric typewriters. It was manual, and you would get your liquid eraser.”

Parting Is Sweet Sorrow

Ms. McGruder said the classroom experience in her day was more intimate--and memorable.

She and her former classmates especially remember Mr. Bradley, their favorite music teacher, and how they burst into tears when they realized he was leaving that year.

Of course, there were high school crushes among classmates.

“Oh, we’re not going to say that!” Kathy Weishaupt said, assuring discretion.

And if any of those erstwhile would-be loves happened to be present at this year’s county-wide reunion, it would certainly be a good thing. Though it was enough just to receive hugs from former classmates being the honorary class of 2023.

“It’s about time they honored us,” Mrs. Weishaupt said jokingly, but it “took us 60 years.”