Befriending the KKK: ‘How Can You Hate Me When You Don’t Know Me?’

In a recent episode of American Thought Leaders, host Jan Jekielek and internationally renowned musician Daryl Davis discuss racism and a unique approach to prejudice and bigotry. Since the 1980s, Mr. Davis has used conversation as a means of befriending neo-Nazis and Ku Klux Klan members, helping many of them renounce their racist ideology. In addition to his musical talents, Mr. Davis is an author and the subject of the documentary “Accidental Courtesy: Daryl Davis, Race & America.”

Mr. Jekielek: I heard you speaking at an event and you told a powerful story about your first positive encounter with a Klansmen. Please tell us about that.

Mr. Davis: There was a lounge called the Silver Dollar in Frederick, Maryland. On the break, I’m following the band over to sit down at the table, and somebody put their arm across my shoulder.

It was a white gentleman maybe 15 years older than me with a big smile. He says how much he enjoys the music and the band. He goes, “This is the first time I ever heard a black man play piano like Jerry Lee Lewis.”

I was surprised that he didn’t know the black origins of Jerry Lee’s piano style. I proceeded to explain that Jerry Lee got it from the same place I did—from black, blues, and boogie-woogie piano players. I said, “Jerry Lee Lewis is a good friend of mine. He told me himself where his influences came from.” This guy didn’t believe that.

But he was so fascinated with me that he wanted to buy me a drink. I don’t drink alcohol, but I let him buy me a cranberry juice. Then he says, “I’m a member of the Ku Klux Klan.” I started laughing because I didn’t believe him.

He pulled out his wallet and handed me his Klan membership card. I recognized the Klan emblem immediately and thought, “Whoa, this is for real,” so I stopped laughing.

But we talked about the Klan and some other things. Then he gave me his number and wanted me to call him any time I was to return to this bar with this band. He wanted to bring his friends to see the black guy who plays like Jerry Lee. I would call him every six weeks, and he would bring his Klansmen and Klanswomen. On the breaks, I’d meet some of them and thank them for coming. This went on until the end of that year.

A few years later, it dawned on me. The question of how they could hate when they didn’t know me had been plaguing me since the age of 10. I said to myself, “Get back in contact with that Klansman, get him to hook you up with the Klan leader from Maryland, and interview him. Then interview other Klan leaders and other members, and write a book.” Because no book had been written by a black author on the KKK from in-person interviews.

Mr. Jekielek: Did you reach out to him?

Mr. Davis: I got him to connect me. He warned me, “Daryl, do not fool with Roger Kelly. He will kill you.” I said, “That’s the whole reason I need to see him. I don’t understand that.” For me, it was more like, “Don’t get furious, get curious.”

I interviewed Mr. Kelly and learned that he had a lot of false perceptions stemming from ignorance. When I say ignorance, I don’t use that term in the derogatory sense. I use it in a sense of being unaware of something. Ignorance breeds fear. We fear the things we don’t understand. Fear breeds hatred. Hatred breeds destruction.

We spend way too much time in this country talking about the other person and talking past the other person. Why don’t we spend time talking with the other person? The greatest weapon to combat all types of discrimination is the least expensive weapon known to man. It’s free, yet it’s the most underused.

It’s called conversation.

The cure for ignorance is exposure and education. That man had been aware of black people, but he’d never spent time with them. Through that exposure, he got educated, then his mind began changing. That perception he had of a black person, a Jewish person, or any of the people he hated began to change. As a result, he got out of the Klan.

Mr. Jekielek: Everything you’re talking about requires dialogue. You made a project out of this.

Mr. Davis: This project has led to a new foundation called the Prohuman Foundation, cofounded by myself and Bion Bartning. We always talk about what we are against and say, “I’m anti-this and anti-that.” Okay, fine. What are you for? Therefore, we have the Prohuman Foundation.

The ideology needs to be erased, not the person. The person acquired that ideology, so let’s not be anti-the person. Let’s be anti-the message.

Mr. Jekielek: How many people have you helped pull out of these types of organizations?

Mr. Davis: Over the last 42 years, I would say just over 200.

There will be people on all sides, black, white, and every color being hateful, violent, and racist. You need to understand that one’s perception is one’s reality. If you want somebody’s reality to change, you have to offer them a better perception. If they resonate with that perception, they then change their own reality.

Mr. Jekielek: What would be your advice to folks seeing intolerance around them?

Mr. Davis: I know people who say, “I’m not going to Thanksgiving dinner with my family because my brother voted for so-and-so.” You’re going to throw away decades of a relationship over somebody who’s only going to be around for four to eight years? If I can go to a KKK rally and talk to people, you can sit down at Thanksgiving dinner and talk to one of your siblings or your parents. Juxtapose those two things. That will help you to have another perspective.

This interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.