Spring Clean Your Attitude

Get ready for growth with a clean outlook and good habits that prepare you for prosperity

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Whether you consider yourself a positive person—like actor Jason Sudeikis’s 2020 Golden Globe-winning character, Ted Lasso—or a Negative Nelly, there will always be times when you will feel weighted down by worry.

That load doesn’t just sink your happy thoughts; it can also take a toll on your health. A 2019 study on optimism conducted by a team of researchers from Harvard University’s T.H. Chan School of Public Health found that a positive attitude is associated with an 11 percent to 15 percent longer lifespan and a greater chance of living to or past the age of 85.

The correlation between a positive attitude and longevity was independent of income, health conditions, and even healthy behaviors like not smoking. “Overall, findings suggest optimism may be an important psychosocial resource for extending life span in older adults,” the Harvard researchers concluded.

However, the trick is not to be happy and positive all the time, according to Susan David, Ph.D., author of the book “Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life.” David, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School and an executive coach, believes that emotional nimbleness is important.

“[E]motional agility—being flexible with your thoughts and feelings so that you can respond optimally to everyday situations—is key to well-being and success,” writes David. In her view, tipping the scales toward optimism is about loosening up, being emotionally flexible, and living life with more intention.

If you can manage to do that—and this article aims to help—you can have a real impact on the people around you.

Your Attitude Is Contagious

The human smile is the most scientifically studied facial expression, according to Yale University Emerita Professor of Psychology Marianne LaFrance. Smiles are actually contagious, LaFrance explains in her book “Why Smile? The Science Behind Facial Expressions.” In fact, when a human sees a smiling face for just a fraction of a second, we unconsciously feel a miniature jolt of positivity; one study she cited found that just four milliseconds was enough. And it doesn’t just stop there: If you are smiling and in good spirits, a friend of a friend is more likely to feel good, as well, writes LaFrance.

But that smile—and the good feelings that go along with it—needs to be genuine to be most effective. In order to have a winsome and contagious smile, you must activate the orbicularis oculi, the muscles that contract around the eyes. Most of us can’t deliberately make ourselves smile with our eyes; we actually have to feel the emotion behind the smile. In other words, we need to shift our attitude.

Fortunately, if any season can brighten your disposition, spring is it. “The day the Lord created hope was probably the same day He created spring,” stated English philosopher Sir Bernard Arthur Owen. It’s always easier to be hopeful and positive in the spring: The days are getting longer, the snowdrops are pushing their way up out of the frost, and the birds have come back.

But if the flowers and sunshine are not enough to reset your mood, here are some ways to spring-clean your attitude.

Attitude Check ABCs

Affirm positivity: How you talk to yourself, as well as how you speak to others, plays an important role in having a good attitude. Negative self-talk, especially when you are having a bad day or going through a challenging time, will make your experiences even worse.

According to the late self-help expert Louise Hay, an inspirational writer and founder of the Hay House publishing company, you can heal your life (both psychologically and physically) by paying more attention to your thoughts. When Hay herself, who experienced tremendous adversity as a child, began to change her attitude, her life started to improve in remarkable ways.

Hay’s blueprint for an attitude shift includes actively practicing positive self-talk, which she called affirmations, as well as “mirror work”—looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself kind words. You could say, for example, “I have a positive attitude,” or, “I get along well with my boss,” or, “I love and respect myself.” You may laugh, cry, or feel ridiculous doing mirror work; no matter. According to Hay, you can and will effect an attitude shift if you keep at it.

Act the way you want to feel: The American philosopher and medical doctor William James, had a very different prescription for fixing one’s attitude. “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together,” James wrote in a magazine article in 1899, “and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.”

James was advising us to act the way we want to feel, even if we don’t necessarily feel it, and the feeling will follow. Chances are you’ve done this, and chances are that it has worked. For example, you may have been invited to a party that you didn’t want to attend, but you forced yourself to go anyway and ended up having a good time. Or you felt frustrated with a loved one, but you acted kindly toward them despite your anger, and the anger dissipated.

Banish bad influences: One of the reasons so many people today struggle to have a good attitude, experts say, is that we are spending too much time consuming digital media. Interacting on social media, playing video games, watching television, and surfing the internet can all be attitude-crushing. It can also make us unhealthy, creating a vicious cycle. According to a 2017 study published in the journal Pediatrics, “obesity is one of the best-documented outcomes of screen media exposure.” People also suffer from greater sleep disturbances and insomnia, according to a 2015 study in the British Medical Journal.

Perhaps most importantly, overconsumption of social media can lead to higher levels of anxiety. A particularly striking study in 2013 from the University of Michigan found that the more that young adults checked Facebook, the worse they felt about their lives.

To help improve your attitude, it is therefore imperative to limit the time you spend on screens. Consider deleting some of your social media accounts or adding time limits to them via third-party apps. Replace that unhealthy attitude-bashing media consumption with attitude-enhancing activities like exercise, meditation, and journaling.

Cultivate creativity: Reducing stress helps everyone be more emotionally agile and positive about life. One way to feel less stress is to be creative. In a 2016 study of 39 healthy adults conducted by researchers at Drexel University, in Philadelphia, 75 percent of participants experienced a significant reduction in their stress levels after just 45 minutes of making art.

The researchers tested saliva samples to measure cortisol levels before and after the art-making sessions and asked participants to write about their feelings at the end of the season. The study participants reported that they felt more relaxed and freed from constraints. To reboot your attitude, consider doing some art, just for yourself, every day.

Do kind acts for others: There is nothing more uplifting than performing acts of kindness for other people, and perhaps no better way to get past the negative thoughts, rejections, or bad results that are weighing you down.

Being of service to others helps lighten their load, and yours. So next time you need an attitude check, try doing a kind act: Bring a meal to a friend; write an overdue thank-you note; pick up the trash by the side of the road. In a 2011 studypublished in the Journal of Happiness Studies, researchers at the University of British Columbia found that there is a “positive feedback loop” between performing an act of kindness for someone else and well-being. Even the memory of a kind act you’ve done for someone can increase your happiness, which in turn encourages you to perform more acts of kindness.

Express negative emotions in positive ways: According to aforementioned psychologist Susan David, emotionally agile people are able to be flexible in dealing with our complicated, ever-changing world. It’s not that they don’t feel stress or experience setbacks; they do. But they take these setbacks in stride, remaining engaged and receptive. In other words, they keep a positive attitude, act in accordance with their deepest values, and stay focused on their long-term goals.

We are all human and we all experience sadness, anger, and self-doubt. But emotionally agile people don’t get derailed by the negative. Instead, they express their negative emotions in positive ways. There is power, David argued in her book, in facing difficult emotions (including grief and trauma) instead of trying to avoid them. “[N]egativity is normal,” David writes. “This is a fundamental fact. We are wired to feel negative at times. It’s simply a part of the human condition.”

Some positive ways to express negative emotions: Journaling helped David work through the grief she felt when she lost her father at a young age. Talking with a trusted friend or family member—someone who won’t shame you for your feelings—can be a lifeline. Hiring a coach or visiting a therapist can also work wonders. Mindfulness also helps: Notice the negative emotions, accept them, and accept yourself for having them. And then move on.

This article was first published in Radiant Life magazine.