Big Moments in Tahiti

Brazil's Gabriel Medina reacts after getting a large wave in the 5th heat of the men's surfing round 3, during the Paris 2024 Olympic Games, in Teahupo'o, on the French Polynesian Island of Tahiti, on July 29, 2024. Jerome Brouillet/ AFP via Getty Images

The 2024 Olympic surfing competition was held at the notorious Teahupo’o in Tahiti—a wave so fearsome it makes the Grim Reaper look like a lifeguard on a coffee break.

This isn’t just any wave; it’s a snarling beast that has claimed five lives and countless close calls, including the tragic demise of local legend Briece Taere in 2001, who was tragically sucked over the falls of a 12-footer.

Big Wave Surfing

In the sport of surfing, there’s surfing, and then there’s big wave surfing.

The latter is a sport so perilous it’s second only to bull riding or base jumping, depending on which adrenaline junkie you ask.

Teahupo’o, while not always considered a “big wave” spot, can still break at a respectable seven metres.

This may seem like a mere ripple compared to the 30-metre monsters at Nazaré, Portugal, but don’t be fooled—size isn’t everything. The danger at Teahupo’o lies in its sheer unpredictability and the razor-sharp coral lurking beneath.

Although, in a study on competitive surfing, Dr. Andrew Nathanson of Rhode Island Hospital’s Injury Prevention Center noted that surfing generally has a relatively low injury rate—6.6 significant injuries per 1,000 hours.

But, as with all good things, there’s a catch: the risk more than doubles when surfing large waves or over hard bottoms. And Teahupo’o offers both in spades.

So, what pearls of wisdom has this Olympic spectacle in French Polynesia thrown up for us?

Teahupo’o’s Deadly Reputation

Rated as one of the world’s most dangerous waves, Teahupo’o has a body count that would make a horror movie blush.

The waves at this notorious spot possess a rather cheeky cocktail of size, power, and speed, making them a menace as they crash over a treacherous coral reef lurking just beneath the surface like an unwelcome guest at a party.

To this already alarming mix, we can throw in a few more ingredients: the stealthy sharks, those mischievous capsizing boats, and a propensity to yank your board shorts off.

Jack Robinson’s Heroics

Channelling his inner Mick Fanning, Aussie, Jack Robinson faced down world number one John Florence after a near-drowning experience.

Dragged over the bottom and held under by two waves, Robinson got back out and surfed another wave to emerge victorious in his heat, proving that courage and madness are often two sides of the same coin.

Robinson lost to local Tahitian sensation France’s Kauli Vaast, in the grand finale while Brazil’s Gabriel Medina tussled with Peru’s Alonso Correa, for the bronze medal, which is just a shade less shiny but still a prized possession in the world of surfing.

That Gabriel Medina Photo

Medina’s image defies gravity and logic. Agence France Presse photographer, Jérôme Brouillet captured Medina after he took off on a colossal wave.

As the wave barrelled, he emerged from the frothy chaos, and went soaring into the air with such grace that one might think he’d settled on a Pacific cloud.

With biblical serenity, he points to the sky, his movements mirrored perfectly by his surfboard, creating a scene so surreal it could have been painted by Leonardo da Vinci himself.

This ethereal moment was immortalised by Brouillet, who, perched precariously on a nearby boat, captured the image with such precision that sceptics initially suspected the handiwork of Photoshop or AI.

“The conditions were perfect, the waves were taller than we expected,” Brouillet remarked.

Breaking Barriers for Women

Once deemed too dangerous for female competitors, Teahupo’o has hosted no female surf competitions from 2006 to 2022.

Now, the women are back, ready to conquer the wave that once banished them.

The gold medal final saw the United States’ Caroline Marks face off against Brazil’s Tatiana Weston-Webb with the American taking gold.

This competition isn’t just a return; it’s a triumphant march towards equality in the surfing world. With the World Surf League leading the charge, the stage is set for a glorious display of talent, grit, and perhaps a few hair-raising wipeouts.

As the women take to the water, they’re not just surfing; they’re rewriting history, showing the world that they can tackle the heaviest of waves with style and panache.

Surfboard Controversy

Rather than surfers, it’s their surfboards that are in the limelight in terms of controversy.

Jack Robinson, unwittingly sparked a diplomatic incident with his choice of board design. In a touching tribute to the late, great Andy Irons, Robinson adorned his boards with a red rising sun motif, blissfully unaware that he was about to catch a wave of protest from South Korean officials.

In parts of East Asia, the red and white rising sun is associated with Imperial Japan in World War II.

Brazilian surfer Joao Chianca found himself in hot water over a depiction of Christ the Redeemer on his board. The Olympic officials decided that the famous statue was too “religious” for the Games’ “total neutrality.”

Not to be outdone, South African surfer Jordy Smith was forced to cover his sponsor’s logo with duct tape, proving once and for all that even in the world of high-stakes Olympic surfing, there’s nothing a bit of DIY can’t fix.

As the waves of Teahupo'o continue to roar, we watch the world’s elite athletes risk life and limb on a reef so sharp it could double as a cheese grater, all in the name of Olympic glory and a shiny medal that would probably sink faster than their chances if they wiped out.

As the Sun Sets on Teahupo'o

However, one thing we’ve learned is that the real danger isn’t in the waves, but in the minefield of cultural sensitivities and bureaucratic red tape.

Who would have thought that the path to Olympic gold would be paved with painted-over rising suns, duct-taped logos, and religious-free surfboards?

As we watch these brave souls hurtle down the face of liquid mountains, perhaps we should raise a toast to the true heroes of Teahupo'o: the poor, beleaguered Olympic officials who must navigate the treacherous waters of international diplomacy.

In the end, as the final wave crashes and the last surfer emerges (hopefully) unscathed, we can all breathe a sigh of relief. For we have witnessed not just a sporting event, but a masterclass in the art of survival—both in the water and in the bureaucratic shark tank of Olympic politics.

And so, as the sun sets on Teahupo'o and the athletes pack away their controversy-free boards, we bid farewell to this magnificent spectacle.

May the winners wear their medals proudly, the losers nurse their bruised egos (and bodies), and the rest of us thank our lucky stars that our biggest wave-related challenge is choosing between a surf ‘n’ turf or a seafood platter at the local beachside cafe.