Commentary
Marriage is
the bedrock of a healthy society. Sadly, in the United States, the bedrock is wearing thin.
In 1980, as a
recent Pew report notes, 94 percent of 40-year-olds had walked down the aisle. Fast forward to today, and 25 percent of 40-year-olds have never been married.
Things are bad, and they appear to be getting worse. The rejection of marriage is going mainstream.
A recent
study, commissioned by the Thriving Center of Psychology, found that 40 percent of young adults in the United States view marriage as an archaic tradition. Moreover, 85 percent of young adults reject the idea that marriage is the ultimate sign of commitment.
First and foremost, as the New Social Covenant Unit (NSCU), an organization dedicated to strengthening families and communities,
notes on its website, marriage—more specifically, traditional marriage—shouldn’t be viewed as an “outdated institution.”
Instead, it’s an “essential component of a virtuous society,” the NSCU website states. “If society is a web or net,” then, “marriages are the knots that hold it together.”
The unraveling of these knots is intimately tied to
the dramatic increase in the number of children being born outside wedlock.
As the NSCU correctly stated, although marriage provides two people with greater levels of “companionship and financial security,” the institution, at its core, was designed to regulate “baby-making.”
Of course, “baby-making” is just one part of marriage. One need not procreate to reap the benefits of wedlock. As Martha Albertson Fineman, a philosopher and legal theorist of considerable repute,
has shown, marriage has many functions; it can act as “a symbol of commitment,” “a means of self-fulfillment,” “a way to ensure against poverty and dependence on the state,” and/or the realization of a “romantic ideal.” Marriage can also represent “a natural or divined connection.”
Married people tend to live happier, more connected lives than unmarried individuals. Earlier this year, Libby Richards, a nursing professor who studies the link between social support and health outcomes, and her colleagues
discussed the many ways in which marriage provides couples with a profound sense of belonging. It provides a husband and wife with “opportunities for social engagement and reduced feelings of loneliness,” they wrote. In 2023, as marriage rates plummet, is it any surprise that the country finds itself in the midst of a loneliness epidemic?
On average, married men and married women tend to live longer, healthier lives than their unmarried counterparts. One reason for this involves the adoption of better eating habits. Married folks are also considerably
less likely to smoke and drink excessively.
One of the biggest reasons why so many younger Americans are rejecting marriage, according to the aforementioned survey, has to do with cost. In short, it’s just too expensive to get married—or so we’re told.
But this is a ridiculous reason to reject marriage. A wedding—contrary to popular, Instagram-driven beliefs—need not be an extravagant affair. It’s possible to get married on a budget; in fact, as the cost of living
continues to rise, having a modestly priced wedding is advised.
Call me a cynic, but I can’t help but feel that the “weddings are just too expensive” argument is masking a deeper reason for the rejection of marriage. After all, the survey found that more women (52 percent) than men (41 percent) are rejecting marriage.
In recent years, an
increasing number of young women have openly admitted to prioritizing their careers over marriage. This is a shame. A job can, of course, be a source of happiness. But no job, no matter how fantastic it may be, can compete with the perks of a healthy, stable marriage.
A social institution with moral obligations, traditional marriage is very much in decline. With this decline, we should expect to see the United States become more dysfunctional, more chaotic, and more divided. The link between marriage and lower crime rates is
well established. Married men, in particular, are far less likely to engage in criminal activity than unmarried men.
But, some will say, isn’t cohabitation just as effective as marriage? In short, no.
According to the
findings of writer and researcher Morten Blekesaune, unlike cohabitation, marriage helps to establish a greater degree of stability and prescribed social roles. Marriage represents a far deeper commitment than cohabitation, he wrote.
Citing Mr. Blekesaune’s work, Wendy L. Patrick
argued that this deeper commitment renders the marriage “more resistant to dissolution than cohabitation ... in part because divorce is more legally regulated than merely ending a cohabitation arrangement.”
The benefits go far beyond the legal realm. Mr. Blekesaume discussed relational investment and the fact that cohabitating couples appear to be less willing to fully commit to their relationship than married couples. Cohabiting arrangements can be vague, and this vagueness can leave the relationship open to interpretation. Marriage, on the other hand, comes with a set of written and/or unwritten rules. Cohabiting with the right person is arguably better than living on your own. However, marriage—a union between two individuals with aligned goals—is the ultimate sign of commitment and loyalty.
As is clear to see, a healthy society is one in which the idea of marriage is venerated. The further a society moves away from this once-time-honored tradition, the unhealthier it’s likely to become.
Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times.
