In his collection “Jacula Prudentum,” also known as “Outlandish Proverbs,” English poet and clergyman George Herbert (1593–1633) included “Living well is the best revenge.” When I first heard this aphorism years ago, I imagined a nerd mocked and harassed in high school who goes on to invent some high-tech wonder, become a billionaire, and spend his evenings sipping Lagavulin and laughing at the bullies he left in the dust.
Which is not what Herbert had in mind.
Critics tell us that the devotional poet far more likely meant that living a well-ordered life steered by a code of high principles brings us peace of mind and stands as a rebuke to those who have wronged us. By remaining high-minded and true to those principles and rejecting the temptation to avenge ourselves, we guard against descending to the debased level of our enemies.
Charles Perrault’s classic fairy tale “Cinderella” gives us an excellent example of this interpretation in action. Here we meet a pretty girl “of unparalleled goodness and sweetness of temper.” Scorned and abused by her cruel stepmother and two stepsisters, Cinderella meets the ugly words and taunts of these three harpies with patience and kindness. At the end of the story, she has every right to retaliate but instead forgives her sisters and invites them to live with her in the palace.
It is Cinderella’s goodness as much as her beauty that wins the hearts of both the prince and those who hear this tale.
In 2019, less than a year before his death from cancer, conservative British philosopher and writer Sir Roger Scruton became the target of savage abuse for his supposed anti-Semitic and anti-Chinese comments in an interview with The New Statesman. By the time a leaked tape of the interview revealed that the reporter had doctored Scruton’s remarks for the purpose of defaming him, the mob had already tried and condemned Scruton. The British government fired him from his advisory post with the Ministry of Housing, many in the media bayed for his censor, and even some Conservative members of the UK Parliament denounced him as a bigot.
Scruton might have tried to avenge himself with the same vicious spirit by which he had been slandered. Instead, he tried to conceal the terrible damage done to his mental state and self-regard by making light of the attacks in personal interviews and by continuing to conduct himself as the man he was: kind, balanced, and honorable. Consequently, at his death, he was remembered for his strength of character rather than for the lies told about him.
Sadly, we live in a time when such assaults are more common than rare. Such calumnies and insults occur daily nearly everywhere, from our presidential candidates and the halls of Congress to social media. In this fractious election year of 2024, we can only expect to see an increase in these blasts of exaggeration and innuendo, which then produce vengeful counterattacks.
Whether it’s drumming someone like Scruton from office, spreading gossip about some associate at work who has snubbed us, or retaliating against a family member who has treated us shabbily, revenge is always a strong temptation. For example, when President Donald Trump criticized the intelligence agencies in 2017, Sen. Chuck Schumer said on television, “Let me tell you, you take on the intelligence community, they have six ways from Sunday to get back at you.” Mr. Schumer’s remark not only sickens Americans who treasure their republic but also reveals the deeply embedded human craving to do wrong to those who we believe have wronged us.
“Revenge is a dish best served cold,” runs an old aphorism.
Perhaps, however, revenge is a dish best not served at all.
Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times.
