To Have a Better Society, We Need to Refocus on the Family

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Commentary

My friend and colleague Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family, wrote in his book “Marriage Done Right”: “[Marriage] is a sacred union of a man and a woman that confers myriad benefits on the spouses, their children, and society at large—benefits that cannot be replicated by any other relationship. I would go so far as to say a society cannot flourish, or even long survive, without stable marriages at its core.”

Unfortunately, the latest authoritative report from the U.S. Census Bureau shows that America is heading in the wrong direction when it comes to marriage and the family.

In the report, the Bureau documents the slow and steady decline in the number of married two-parent families from 1970 to the present day. In 1970, 40.3 percent of all homes comprised married parents with children. Just 30 years later, in 2000, just 24 percent of homes were the same composition. In the latest year (2022) in which the Census Bureau has numbers, only 17.8 percent of homes consisted of two married parents with children—the lowest percentage ever.

These numbers paint a foreboding portrait of the future of our country, as one of the keys to a free and prosperous nation, as Mr. Daly has noted, is a commitment to marriage and, subsequently, families in which children are raised in an environment in which they will flourish and thrive.

Without that foundation to build upon, we are writing ourselves a national death warrant. Yet, despite this reality, we continue to see the institutions of marriage and family attacked and belittled by too many aspects of our society.

Thus, the discounting of marriage and family has done a great deal of damage to our society. For instance, we are becoming a lonelier, and more isolated, society—to our personal and national detriment.

Even the surgeon general of the United States has acknowledged that we now have an epidemic of loneliness, much of which is caused by diminished familial ties that bind people together. Other commentators have noted studies showing loneliness results in reduced mental health, decreased life spans, and a multitude of other issues.

Thus, as Mr. Daly states, marriage provides a myriad of benefits that cannot be replicated by any other relationship. Marital, and subsequently familial, cohesion or disintegration is now the definitive barometer of the health or illness of the social fabric of our country.

Why? Because multiple studies over the years have shown that children who grow up in an intact, two-parent family do immeasurably better in all aspects of life than those who don’t. They do better in school and enter adulthood with a purpose, rather than wandering around in the wilderness still trying to figure out life.

These children are also more likely to form healthy relationships, including marital ones, once they enter adulthood because they have seen it modeled to them by their parents.

Meanwhile, those who lack this foundation struggle. Boys lack focus and self-control, which leaves them with the inability to launch into adulthood and be responsible men, husbands, and fathers, or in the worst-case scenario, lash out in violence against others.

Meanwhile, girls often become sexually promiscuous, reaching out in desperation for the nurturing environment provided by a loving father and mother.

As it has been said, children learn by seeing values “caught, not taught,” and when these children have nothing to “catch,” they are likely to have no idea of how to create and sustain healthy marriages and families.

Of course, there are countless other societal reasons to re-emphasize the importance of marriage and children, especially as our population ages and there are fewer young people to contribute to Social Security and Medicare while also emotionally and physically taking care of their parents. In the words of the late Al Jolson, “You ain’t heard nothing yet” when it comes to out-of-control government spending to pay for entitlements for an aging population.

But the bottom line is that if we want a better society, it’s time that we start to “refocus” on the family as a positive force in society. To do otherwise will keep our country spiraling into debt, isolation, polarization, and a myriad of other social problems that intact and healthy marriages and families solve because those relationships bring us together and make us stronger, as individuals and as a nation.

Views expressed in this article are opinions of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Epoch Times.