“I don’t like waiting for people to realize that the light is green,” “I don’t like to wait for people to notice they are walking at the speed of snails,” and “I don’t like to wait for the printer to print” are only three of her quarrels with her fellow human beings and modern devices. After recognizing her impatience as a flaw, she concluded, “When you truly want something, life becomes a waiting game.”
Chérie’s forthright confession is 636 words long. In it, if I’ve counted correctly, she uses the pronoun “I” 47 times and “my” or “mine” 18 times. In these numbers, we find the explanation and very core of impatience: self-interest at war with circumstances. Whether we’re waiting in line at the supermarket, stuck in traffic on the highway, or put on hold while talking on the phone with our insurance company, patience isn’t always our long suit.
Most of us, of course, recognize the value of patience. Parents try to teach self-restraint to their children, and we’re all familiar with the proverbial phrase “Patience is a virtue.”
Yet the world often acts as a counterweight to this wisdom. When we can order a laptop on a Friday, as I recently did, and find it on our porch the next morning, we all too frequently want the same speedy results when dealing with every problem in life.
And although our battles with impatience are short-lived and generally nontoxic, they can, at times, be harmful, even deadly. The road rage that often sends drivers whipping in and out of traffic can end in death or serious injury. Understaffed coffee shops and restaurants are sometimes scenes for a brawl when a customer’s short fuse is lit by delays. One man I once knew with cardiovascular disease was a walking time bomb, mostly because he exploded in anger whenever some interruption upset his agenda.
Laughing at Myself
“We plan, God laughs” goes an old Yiddish proverb. What I’ve found as I’ve grown older is that it really benefits me when I join in that laughter. I’ll be racing down the highway, intent on getting to a destination in record time, when suddenly, there’s a line of traffic crawling along ahead of me as far as the eye can see. Sometimes curses follow this sight, sometimes just an enormous sigh of exasperation, but my healthiest reaction is a burst of loud laughter.Share in the Misery
We hear these days that America is experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. More people than ever before feel disconnected from others.Make the Time Your Own
You get to the doctor’s office and find she’s 45 minutes behind in her appointments. You’re forced onto the phone to solve some glitch with your credit card and spend half an hour listening to canned music while awaiting a human voice.When these things happen, take a few of those deep breaths Ms. Llerena recommended, then treat yourself to some solitude. Dredge up sweet memories from the past. Make some plans for the future. Consider your day and see what you can find that’s worthy of gratitude.
“Good things come to those who wait,” goes another old adage about patience. Give it a shot, and see what gifts you may receive.
