The fires were raging in Los Angeles, creating unspeakable human tragedy and our hearts were breaking as we thought about the multitudes seeking shelter from the terror and sadness, as legacy and lives were torched in the inferno.
In the midst of this, as the fires raged, I sat on a train safely on the other side of the country, traveling from one city to another, and calmly read the news. I was overwhelmed with a sense of the ominousness of the moment.
At the next stop, there was a delay. Three heavily armed policemen with bulky jackets and equipment made their way through the cafe car to the business class section. There they stayed for 15 minutes as the train sat frozen on the tracks. No one explained what was going on. No one had any idea. They finally left and the train started moving again.
At the final stop, I overheard some talk about what had happened, and I made some inquiries. I don’t know the details but it had something to do with a dispute over seating. A couple wanted to sit together but someone else was in a seat and they asked the person to move. He did not want to move. Words flew, passion inflamed, and positions entrenched. Suddenly all sides burrowed in as a matter of pride.
The rest of the train had to wait as this personal conflagration was settled by the heavies with flak jackets. And not only our train was delayed but all trains that day. One couple and one person could not see past their own noses to the larger picture. We had a handful of people whose pride and distorted image of their own interests create an implacable willfulness, even at everyone else’s expense.
As I say, all of this happened while Los Angeles burned.
Isn’t it remarkable? Tiny little human squabbles that matter not at all in the grand scheme of things can become more important than even the biggest human tragedy imaginable. One supposes that this is just the human mind at work at its basest level. It reveals something about the human personality and the myopia of the unimaginative mind.
We all experience something like this on a daily basis. Often it happens that I’m driving along and some other car appears out of nowhere in my rearview mirror. I’m staring at his headlights and he is pushing me as a matter of life and death.
I’ve learned in my maturity to let it go. There is no room for cat-and-mouse games on roadways. My habit is just to pull over at the next possible chance and let the guy pass. Invariably I meet him at the next stop light, proving that the pushiness achieved nothing. But I do achieve something by letting him have his way. I reduced road conflict. There is something to be said for that.
Our times have invited us all to ask big questions. The one that keeps occurring to me is how it is that great civilizations allow themselves to be torn apart and fall to the ground. There is a second half to that question: what can be done to stop it?
I might humbly suggest that one way is to put aside the tiny conflicts of near-zero relevance in our lives and think instead of the bigger picture.
If only one person in business class had agreed to give up his seat so that the couple could sit together—however unfair and irrational that demand—the cops would not have arrived, the train would not have been delayed, and the entire spectacle could have been avoided entirely. But instead, everyone there just dug in their heels. They figured that they had paid for the pricey ticket and would get their way regardless.
I get it and there is usually a good reason to foment conflict over small issues. But there is an even better reason for giving in a bit and lessening the conflicts in everyday life. Doing so keeps the focus on the big picture. Surely part of the reason great civilizations fall is precisely because of selfish obsessions over personal interest rather than thinking beyond one’s own nose looking instead at the bigger picture.
In times of great crisis, and we’ve been here for some years now, people do in fact become testy and intolerant. You have noticed this. The old focus on decorum, decency, manners, and the dignity of others was pushed aside.
Part of the reason is that government, media, and corporations dehumanized us. They separated us and sent out a message to the whole of society everywhere: people are nothing but disease vectors. That message stuck among many people. As a result, we are less civil than in the past. We have less regard for others. We are more willing to pursue petty squabbles rather than give in.
Was this part of the point? Regardless, the methods recruited a whole generation into becoming, however inadvertently, soldiers in a marauding army that set itself against civilized standards of living.
And this points to an answer to the above question of how it is that civilizations fall. It’s because average people enlist in the pushing.
The upside to observing this is to realize that we can all make a contribution to making it otherwise. We can find our own humanity and rediscover the dignity of others. Despite all trends, we can take the initiative and show others how it is done; that is, simply by being a decent person.
Part of that is having a willingness to give in on small things that do not matter and focus instead on the bigger things having to do with serious issues of right and wrong. Just being an example to others seriously helps. That train issue could have been so easily solved. True, the solution meant that one person had to give up selfish concerns for the sake of the whole but so what? It only meant sitting in a different seat for an hour or two. That doesn’t seem like much to ask.
There are so many forces extant these days that are working to purge us of our essential humanity. The first step in overcoming that is to become aware of this. Once you do, you are better prepared to resist even if only in small ways. A smile, a kind word, a helping hand, a small act of deference, an unexpected compliment—these are the essential steps.
For years, we have been manipulated into becoming less than we are and can be. That said, we can all take part in becoming part of the resistance. That doesn’t mean hoisting flags, wearing uniforms, or marching in protests. It means small acts of kindness toward others. From this flows the great effort to rebuild a civilized life.
