Anyone who has tried to improve themselves will encounter the “routine problem.” If you have, you may have asked yourself, “How do I start building a routine, one that actually works for me?
First, I want you to note the key phrase “for me.” Daily routines aren’t generic or universal. A daily routine that works for me will likely not work for you because we have different intentions, needs, capacities, and so on. In starting a daily routine, we first have to give ourselves permission to create the routine that works for us. We need to accept that it can look different and that’s beyond OK.
- Why am I doing this? What’s the point or intention? What’s my endgame with this routine?
- Remember to extend grace to myself
- Set realistic expectations for my routine
Step 1: Get Clear on Why
The first step is to get clear on why you’re creating a daily routine. This connects with key No. 1. Identify and define the intention of your routine. A great question to ask yourself is “What do I want to feel/experience/gain from my daily routine?”Maybe you’re wanting to feel more grounded as you start your day, or relaxed as you end the day. Maybe you want to feel energized as you move through your day or experience joy in its simplest form. Whatever it is for you, get clear on why you’re starting and what the intention is for your daily routine.
Step 2: Decide What Kind of Routine
The next step would be to decide what daily routine you want to work on first. You can have a routine for just about anything, but for the sake of this post, we'll focus on the routines by time of day. So, do you want a morning routine to kick off your day or a mid-day routine to help reconnect and take a breather as your day unfolds? Maybe you want or need an evening routine to help set you up for success in the morning or decompress. I would advise picking one and getting solid with that routine before implementing others.Step 3: Brainstorm Your Routine
After you’ve identified your why and defined your intention for your daily routine, and you’ve decided which kind of routine you want to implement, it’s time to brainstorm and map out your routine.This step is meant to be fun. You get to decide what you want to encompass your routine. For me, this step is all about listing out all the things. So set a timer for two to five minutes and just write down all the habits, rituals, practices, or activities you wish to include in your daily routine.
You aren’t deciding just yet what will be in your routine. You’re identifying the things you believe ground you, bring you joy, and fill you up.
Step 4: Map Your Routine
Now we get practical and realistic, if you will. Going back to step 3—to that lovely list of yours—select one to three of the ideas you’ve brainstormed to put in your daily routine. Two questions to ask yourself as you make your selection:- Does this ritual/practice/habit align with the why and intention for this daily routine?
- How much time can I realistically give to this ritual/practice/habit?
Extra bonus tip: Remember, it’s not about doing everything, but doing what matters.
Step 5: Start the Routine
Easier said than done. I know for me, it took a while to actually do what I said I was going to do, routine-wise. It required unlearning unhealthy habits. I would overthink it and fall back on what already existed for me, routine-wise. It took just doing it, no frill or fluff, to get it stable.We can set intentions, brainstorm, and map out all the routines we want, but it won’t mean anything if we don’t actually do them. This is your notice to not overthink starting. Just do it. Wake up tomorrow and do that routine you mapped out. Close out your workday and do that post-work routine you brainstormed.
At some point, we have to lay down the planning and organizing and just do. It won’t be perfect. It will feel awkward and messy at first. It might even feel impossible. You may only do it twice your first week. But twice is better than not doing it at all. As the popular phrase goes, “better done than perfect.”
Extra bonus tip: Starting the routine begins the trial and error stage. You’re building a new habit and learning about yourself in the process. You may tweak and iterate on your routine after week one when you realize it doesn’t really fit. Take note of what you actually do from what you mapped out versus what you don’t do. Start again and focus on the pieces of your routine you actually do. Remember, start small and build from there.