“When the neuropathy came and spread through my whole body, I remember staring at the ceiling and thinking, ‘Oh my God, this is it. I’m dying,'” says Jessica Sutta.
In this recent episode of “American Thought Leaders,” dancer and singer Jessica Sutta shared her story of vaccine injury for the first time in public with host Jan Jekielek. In August 2021, Sutta experienced a severe reaction to the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine. Here, she recounts her ongoing struggles with pain and debilitation and explains why she has decided to speak out.
And then, I was lucky enough to be on a soap opera called “Ocean Ave.” It was really fun. I loved being on set, but I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’m a terrible actress. I moved to Los Angeles to act, and it wasn’t really going so well for me. My first love was obviously dance. Then I was asked to do a public service announcement for Smokey the Bear.
It was my first job in Los Angeles, and it happened to be with Robin Antin, the creator of the Pussycat Dolls, who was the choreographer for this public service announcement. We were putting out forest fires with our top hats and tuxedo leotards in the middle of the forest. It got cut out.
But that’s when I established a relationship with Robin Antin. On set, she said: “I want you to do me a favor. I want you to cut your bangs and I want you to be in the Pussycat Dolls.” That’s how I started in the Pussycat Dolls. It was a cast of about 50 girls. The lead was Carmen Electra. We had a lot of celebrity guests that came on. Christina Aguilera performed, and Gwen Stefani.
When Gwen Stefani came in, she actually got the attention of her label, which was Interscope Records, and they were very interested in doing something with the group. But they had no idea what to do with it because it was just so wild. It went from 20 girls to six girls, and I stayed with the six. I was part of the pop group the Pussycat Dolls, and it absolutely changed my life forever.
After the Pussycat Dolls, I did some solo work. I did some singing for dance music. I have five No. 1 hits on the Billboard dance club chart, so it’s been a really amazing career. Actually, in 2019, we decided to have a reunion, which was really fun. But unfortunately, COVID stopped that, so it’s no longer happening.
It’s been almost two years. Reactions to the vax are not really allowed to be spoken about publicly because it’s so taboo. Maybe it’s rare, but I live it every single day. My point in being here, Jan, since I’m also a fan of your show, is that I would like to speak to the vax-injured and let them know they’re not alone.
I did all the therapies I would normally do: the chiropractor, acupuncture, massage, and rest. Nothing would get this muscle spasm out. That was Sept. 15, 2021. I admitted myself to the hospital, and they ran all these tests and blood work. I did a CAT scan, and come to find out, I was in perfect health.
They sent me home with antibiotics, saying there was a kidney infection. So I just tried the same therapies, but nothing was working. I was to a point where it was really hard to breathe. It felt like burning in my side, and it was incredibly debilitating. I couldn’t even lift my son.
I had just had my son. That was really hard because just even holding him was a struggle. Our trainer mentioned to us that a friend of his in Boston had an adverse reaction to the COVID vaccine and that I need to take a look at something.
So my husband that night showed me a video of 1,000 women having these horrific side effects from this vaccine. I just remember telling my husband: “Can you turn it off? I don’t want to see this. Come on, no way. This is just a muscle spasm. It’s going to go away.”
Eventually, it got really bad. It was Dec. 7, and around that time, it had spread through my whole body where I just felt so heavy and my eyelids and my legs and my feet and everything hurt. I was still about 50, 60 pounds overweight in August from post-pregnancy, and I had lost that weight by December. I was already back to underweight, which was about 115.
It was crazy because I live in Hollywood and I was getting compliments. It was like: “Wow, you look great. What are you doing?”
I was like: “I’m not doing anything different. I don’t know what’s going on, but it feels like my body’s eating itself.”
I eventually found a massage therapist who finally got the muscle spasm out. Once I got the muscle spasm out, I was lying in bed when all of a sudden I started developing a tremor. The next couple of nights, I started getting involuntary head jerks and leg jerks. It scared me because it felt like: “Oh my God, this is not my body anymore. What is going on?”
When I went to a rheumatologist, she said, “You have fibromyalgia.” I did a whole line of blood tests, but nothing indicated any type of autoimmune disease. Nothing was abnormal. She said, “It’s fibromyalgia, you’ll work through this.” When I tried to do that, it actually made things worse. I was in a yoga pose, and as I was twisting my spine, that’s when the neuropathy started.
The first thing he said was, “When did you get the vaccine?” He goes, “I think you had an adverse reaction.” That was the first time I acknowledged it was actually happening to me.
I didn’t want that to be real, because I was just trying to do the right thing. I couldn’t imagine that this could ever happen. I didn’t get a heads-up that this could be a reaction, an autoimmune response. To this day, I still get gaslit to try to make me think it’s not real.
With my fellow vax-injured friends, their experiences are very real, and I’ve seen it firsthand. People who have not seen that don’t have friends who have myocarditis from this. They don’t have friends that have similar symptoms like I do.
When the neuropathy came and spread through my whole body, I remember staring at the ceiling and thinking: “Oh my God, this is it. I’m dying. I have everything I’ve ever wanted in my entire life, and it’s almost over.”
I went to the hospital for the second time, and that was May 3. That was one of the worst experiences of my life. Unless my arm is falling off, I won’t set foot in another hospital again. They didn’t want to believe me, even though I’d been diagnosed by the neurologist from that hospital.
They said: “You have symptoms of MS [multiple sclerosis], but you don’t have MS, so that’s good. In three months you’ll be fine, and this is going to leave your body. Just don’t get the booster. You’ll be OK.”
It’s been two years, so it’s not getting any better. If anything, it’s getting progressively worse. That’s when I started really searching for answers and doing as much research as I possibly could and opening my mind in the sense of learning about everything. I want to hear it all. I want to hear the scientists.
I was really drawn to Dr. Robert Malone. I believe he’s a hero. I’m so grateful for that man. I just did a lot of research and then I came across React19. I saw Brianne Dressen speak in Congress about her experience, and it was so similar to mine. But what scared me the most was that she was in a wheelchair. As a dancer and as a new mom, that’s terrifying. I’m a fighter, and I’m not going to get there—hopefully not.
She gave me a lot of strength without even knowing it. That’s when I reached out to React19 on Instagram, and I said: “Thank you so much for the work you’re doing. I’m actually vax-injured. I’m terrified to speak out, but God bless you for being on the front line. I know that you’re getting so much hate, but thank you, because it means so much. You’re saving me because I feel like I’m going crazy.”
But I also believe it was irresponsible of me to stay silent. That’s why when I saw your interview with Bri, I thought, “Yes, I think Jan’s the best one to do this.” Thank you for having me, because I don’t want to talk to anyone else.
I live a solution-based life now. I have a son. I want to have another baby eventually if I can. It’s just time to heal the community. I’m OK with the repercussions that come along with it, because I’m coming from my heart.
I know that everyone’s body is their body and everyone has the choice. But I would recommend maybe halting the vax just to reconfigure. Because one death is enough, one child on the football field is enough. I just read that the FDA had pulled some eye drops because they killed one person. For just one person, it was pulled.
Why is it so different with this, with all these young, beautiful kids and athletes in superb health? Why isn’t the vaccine pulled off the shelf immediately? It’s so confusing to me. They need to tell us the truth about what this really is.
So I know that’s hard for him, but I also know I’m going to get through this. To my fellow injured, I will say this with confidence: “We will heal. I pray for us every single day that we will heal.”
I would also say go to React19. Join the community. There are all these beautiful protocols they’re finding, all these new tests, all these things that will help us heal. You will be heard, and you’ll be loved and accepted.
They’ve just been phenomenal. All the doctors working with React19 have taken me under their wing. They actually care. They hear me.
Bri Dressen is my hero. She’s been a beacon of delight for me and for so many other people. I’m just so grateful for warriors like her who paved the way for the rest of us.
She takes time out of the day when I’m not feeling good and explains to me what’s going on. The whole community has been a godsend.
My voice matters, and it hasn’t mattered for so long. I’ve had so much shame with this. But maybe it happened to me for a reason, and if I can give any inspiration and hope to your viewers, that would mean the world to me.