Dear Kathy,
I’ve been trying to get pregnant for almost three years. None of the other women in my family or in my husband’s have any trouble getting pregnant and I feel like a complete failure. Every time there’s a family event, I get all this anxiety because everyone asks us “how it’s going.” It’s pretty obvious that it’s not going well because I haven’t gotten pregnant!
I get so mad because no one who hasn’t experienced infertility first-hand truly understands how depressing it is - month after month, feeling more and more hopeless. Just seeing a woman with a child in her arms or even a baby bump makes me weepy. I feel sad and angry and jealous and then I feel guilty about it. It’s like I’m going crazy sometimes.
I can’t talk to my husband about it because he tells me that I need to stop obsessing about getting pregnant and it'll happen. He makes me feel even worse than I already do.
“Taylor”
Dear Taylor,
Infertility and involuntary childlessness are extremely challenging life issues. What you’re experiencing is common to other women in your situation, you are far from alone.
First of all, I strongly suggest that both you and your husband schedule some routine diagnostic tests in order to find out what’s going on. It may be a simple fix.
Secondly, consider seeking out a counselor experienced working with couples who face your current challenges in the fertility arena. The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) has an online directory of therapists with bios and practice locations.
RESOLVE is an organization which can be helpful for couples experiencing infertility. Support groups are another valuable resource as they provide a forum for couples, such as yourselves, to process emotions with others experiencing similar issues.
I wish you the very best outcome. Please keep me updated on your situation.
All the best,
Kathy
Readers, please send your letters to [email protected]. I look forward to hearing from you. Additionally, I welcome your feedback on this post.
