Being in such an over crowded world - is there still a market that doesn’t have immense competition? - means being protective about our ideas and whipping out NDAs at the third meeting with potential collaborators. Business lawyers will often recite horror stories of businesses that never came to be or million dollar deals that were stolen right under people’s feet. And yet, handshake deals are still happening every day. Are we clinging to old ideals that will just render us pencils or is there actually something to wanting to shake a strangers hand as a proof of trust?
The handshake has been a signal of trust since 5th Century BC. The theory is that soldiers would shake hands as a demonstration that they weren’t armed and came in peace. Today handshakes, a predominately Anglo-Saxon tradition, are used as a greeting or to signify trust. So what is it about a handshake that seduces us into trust? Below the power of the handshake in all its grandeur.
First Impressions are crucial and hard to fix if made poorly. Ever met someone who seemed nice but were then offered their moist and weak extremities? It’s like shaking hands with a damp washcloth. And, all of a sudden your opinion of that person went from non-judgmental to GET ME OUT OF HERE! My personal pet peeve is when women refuse to give strong handshakes - who teaches these women to just gingerly offer three fingers? I’m not going to trust someone who is barely offering me half of what they have from the offset. Learn how to give a strong handshake and if you aren’t sure yours is the stuff of legends then check out this article.
Building Trust is one of the fundamental ingredients to sales. It’s part of the all powerful know, like & trust factor which will predict if you are going to get the deal or if the next person is. Research has proven that physical contact actually increases your trust levels immediately. Often referred to as the “trust hormone”, oxytocin is starting to also emerge as a brain chemical that does more than just bring couples together. It now features in several researches as the crucial element that enables us to not just forge and strengthen our social relationships but also prevent a number of psychological and physiological problems as well. It’s the way your mother built trust and intimacy with you and it’s the way you build it with others. It’s been proven that the simple act of shaking someone’s hand will cause your brain to release low levels of oxytocin - both in yourself and in the person you’re touching. So go ahead, don’t be greedy and go on a handshake spree.
Now, I am not saying you live in a world without contracts but with all this substantial research it seems like common sense that you would trust more a living person (who is giving you a healthy dose of oxytocin) rather than a piece of paper. So, as with everything in life, strive for balance. Start your relationship with a firm human handshake but the minute money starts to feature in the conversation it’s time to call on a lawyer to draft you some contracts. Great news is that you can shake hands again after signing.
Tell us about your worst handshaking experience below! We would love to hear from you or email us at [email protected].
