Dear Kathy,
My daughter just attended her junior prom a few days ago and hasn’t spoken to me since. She’s angry at me and I think she’s being a spoiled brat. I bought her a beautiful prom dress, new shoes and a bag to match, and had her hair and nails done (French tips). I also paid for the prom itself, the after-prom party on a boat, and her share of the limo. I think that she should be thankful, not angry!
She is giving me the silent treatment because I mismanaged my time the morning of the prom and we were in a time crunch because of that. So, we weren’t able to get her make-up done like I promised as we ran out of time. Also, I had to drive her to the prom because we were too late to get her to the limo on time.
I accept responsibility for managing my time poorly and I’m sorry that we ran late because of that, but shouldn’t she be emotionally mature enough at 17 to accept the fact that no one’s perfect?? I apologized to her over and over again and I know I have issues with time management, but I do the best I can. I don’t know what she wants from me. I would really appreciate you weighing in on this. We both read your blog regularly and I know that she'll respect what you have to say.
Thanks so much,
Beleaguered Mom
Dear Mom,
It’s clear from your letter that you love your daughter very much and want the best for her. It’s also evident that you are both aware of and accept responsibility for your time management issues. That being said, part of accepting responsibility is making every attempt to resolve the problem.
I suggest that you seek out a good psychiatrist in order to be assessed for any issues which may be interfering with your ability to manage your time more effectively, like ADD. Additionally, I would suggest that you survey those close to you to ascertain the degree to which they are negatively impacted by your time management. Perhaps your daughter isn’t the only one in your life who is feeling distressed by your issue in this area.
Conduct a thorough assessment of your time management issues, their genesis, and the impact which they are having on others in your world. Then, consider working with a therapist or life coach to resolve the problem. Your relationship with your daughter will be blessed by your efforts, I assure you.
All my best,
Kathy
