What is this elusive quality called charisma—that word of Greek origin? It literally means “gift from or favored by the Gods, the Divine.”
Charisma refers to a trait certain individuals display—characterized by personal charm and magnetism—along with powerfully effective interpersonal communication skills and the gift of persuasion.
These individuals—by sheer positive power of their personalities rather than from their mere speech—interface with their fellow human beings in a personal and direct manner, and effectively communicate a concept or solve a dispute.
People thus endowed have the ability to lead, charm, persuade, inspire, and influence people. History has many such examples. Before we get to them, let’s consider something more basic.
Looking at the business world, let’s say two businesses offer the same product, the same level of service, the same delivery time, the same guarantee, and the same quality. But customers prefer one business over the other. Why is that?
They prefer to patronize one of the two and say his business is the best. The customers cannot logically explain their preference. It even happens that they purchase things they actually don’t need, to make the owner happy. How did this come about?
Is it the proprietor’s charisma or his power of personality that makes us want to buy? Is it the very quality that attracts us? We somehow connect with this individual on a physical, emotional, and spiritual level. We like to be around such people.
Such personal magnetism extends to all aspects of society—to mass movements, to politics, and religions. But charisma is not something one is born with, like having blue eyes or brown eyes.
Researcher, Tony Alessandra, Ph.D., uses this analogy: “Our personalities consist of a series of containers; some are empty, others partially filled to varying degrees, and others are brimming,” in his book Charisma: Seven Keys to Developing the Magnetism that Leads to Success.
Dr. Alessandra stresses that charisma has nothing to do with a person’s I.Q. and other inherited traits, but is a skill that can be learned. It does not merely mean to be charming; it has to do with one’s character. As legendary-great Mahatma Gandhi (1869–1948) once said, “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”
How can one attain this magical effect? “Everybody’s darling is everybody’s Depp,” Franz Josef Strauss, the composer, said once. Just being nice doesn’t cut it.
Charisma cannot be copied by imitating someone’s outer appearance, like the same clothing, same speech pattern, or same posture. That makes someone open to ridicule. Charismatic people are original in all aspects.
One’s inner qualities are the deciding factors, and we must learn to foster these. Let’s begin, fearlessly. A Russian saying goes, “Look fear into the eyes and it will blink.”
Good Manners Without Pretense
Small-minded people attempt to create an aura of “presence,” inflating every aspect of their persona. Such individuals might manage to have a few followers, weaklings, or those who hang around only long enough until their advantages are exhausted.
Many people see through the pretense, feel uncomfortable in the person’s presence, and soon stay away. By contrast, looking at charismatic people makes us aware they appear cultured. We feel well in their presence.
Charismatic people manage to give everyone their due, without exception; be it an usher at a large gathering, or the president of a nation. One thing none of these people would stoop to is flattery
Be Prepared for Challenges
Prudence is in order here. Do not give in to daydreaming while in the presence of others, but give them your full attention. Don’t let their emotions sway you! That is why charismatic people are ready at all times to take on virtually any challenge.
President Barack Obama has these qualities, and John F. Kennedy had them, as well. If you think you are able to follow in their footsteps, think logically.
An 80-pound teen would be crazy to enter into a boxing match with the world heavy- weight champion on a dare. But perhaps with much training and a few pounds gained along the way, such a match might be a possibility.
Charismatic individuals display their specific strength to the best advantage and minimize their flaws without lying about them. They manage to successfully pursue their life’s dreams—a difference between setting goals and merely wishing for something. The conduct one displays along the quest can be a sign of great dignity
A Compassionate Demeanor
Don’t let the bad manners of others interfere with your goals. Charisma works best when one’s mind is truly compassionate and tolerant. Charismatic people display grace, exuberance, equanimity, positive energy, confidence, serenity, and authenticity in every respect, and exude an aura of mystique.
They are always fully present in the moment in a good way! But none of these qualities would suffice without genuine warmth and the ability to look upon one’s fellow man and our surroundings with care and concern. The good must be recognized and fostered.
So, would you accept the challenge and become a charismatic person? If so, I salute you and wish you success!
Christina Riveland contributed to the article
