One in six couples experience the emotional, physical, and financial challenges of infertility. Many of these couples ride a monthly roller coaster of emotions related to invasive diagnostic testing and treatment, often resulting in feelings of sadness and disillusionment.
Social functions can become increasingly dreaded events as well-meaning friends and family members inquire about fertility treatments. Others’ children can become a source of anguish, causing additional guilt and self-recrimination. Regrettably, social isolation is often an added source of pain, at just the time a solid support system is most needed.
Before all of the afore-mentioned stressors cause further strain to a couple’s relationship, it is advisable to reach out for help. A counselor experienced in working with individuals and couples coping with infertility can assist people:
- process and validate their feelings as they start a new treatment or grieve a failed one
- weigh the pros and cons of different treatment options
- make wise decisions regarding third party assistance (surrogacy, egg or sperm donation)
- investigate other options for family building, such as adoption
If coping with infertility issues and involuntary childlessness becomes too heavy a burden to bear alone, it is advisable to expand the emotional equation to include a therapist who is experienced in these matters. It lightens the toll on the couple relationship (or individual) to have a neutral third party help: set an agreeable timeline for treatment, evaluate when it is time to change course or stop medical treatment altogether, explore other alternatives, and suggest additional resources (support groups, literature, videos, and organizations such as RESOLVE).
The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) is an excellent resource for locating therapists, bios and practice locations are provided.
