Dear Kathy,
I love a good bargain and the mall near me has amazing clearance sales. I shop there a couple of times a week and do all my shopping affordably. I put shelves up in my basement to organize the things I buy including my holiday shopping.
My family and friends accuse me of being a hoarder and that accusation is hurtful and untrue. There are no piles of clutter in our house and I spend within my means. How can I address this issue once and for all and get everyone off my back?
Tammy
Dear Tammy,
I am sorry to hear that your friends and loved ones are labeling you and thereby hurting your feelings. That being said, there is an expression “If three people tell you you’re drunk, go home and go to bed.”
If “everyone” in your life is concerned regarding your relationship with your possessions as per the frequency at which you acquire them and the volume of your respective purchases, I encourage you to process that.
Assume that your loved ones care about you and their concern for you is well-meaning. Going to the mall twice a week seems excessive and requiring basement storage to organize your possessions in addition to the closets, drawers, and cabinets in your home also seems excessive.
I suggest that you try to shop only once a week instead of the twice you presently do and additionally deny yourself one item you would have ordinarily purchased. The purpose of this is to gauge your level of anxiety and distress at not shopping.
If you are highly anxious and deeply distressed when you deny yourself a shopping experience, you are in the throes of an addiction. If this resonates, I encourage you to join a 12 step group focusing on this issue.
I apologize if my words are difficult to hear. I am concerned about you and wish you the very best!
Sincerely,
Kathy
